Today, while in the waiting room at the chiropractor's office, I thought I'd be sexy and flash my boyfriend. Forgetting that my iPhone was in the front pocket of my hoodie, I lifted it quickly and hit myself in the mouth. Now I have a fat bloody lip and a boyfriend who can't stop laughing. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. He got a text and reached over to get his phone. In the process, he elbowed my face and busted my lip. He laughed. FML
Today, I was fooling around with my boyfriend in his room. He grabbed me behind the head to pull me in for a hard, romantic kiss. He accidentally smashed my nose into his cheekbone, and my nose started gushing blood and continued to bleed for over 2 hours. It's broken, and he just laughed. FML
Today, after a heavy make-out session, my boyfriend and I discovered his lips bruise really easily. This wouldn't be a problem except he's been telling people I hit him. He thinks it's hilarious. FML
Today, my boyfriend was telling me about accidentally punching his best friend in the face. As he was acting it out he ended up punching me and giving me a bloody nose. FML
Today, I got back at my boyfriend for sticking the hoover nozzle in my mouth as a prank by doing the exact same thing to him. Unfortunately, it must have burst a blood vessel in his lip because it swelled right up and his entire lower jaw on the right side is just one massive bruise. FML
Today, I was helping my boyfriend in the garden. When I wanted to break a piece of wood, I lost my balance. Head first against a stone. Result: five stitches in my upper lip, and a loose tooth. FML
Today, I woke up early for work, then yanked my phone by the charger cord on my nightstand to look at it. I gravely underestimated the force by which I pulled the charger and the whiplash of my phone popped me square in the nose. Hard. I have a bruise now. I hope people don't think my boyfriend is a domestic abuser. FML
Today, my boyfriend was buying a new hockey stick; to test it out he started hitting a ball around the aisle and decided to shoot it back into its bin. Instead the ball hit me dead in the mouth, giving me a fat lip. Instead of consoling me, my boyfriend yelled "GOAL!" FML
Today, while at the gym, my boyfriend wouldn't stop texting me. I was confident enough to text while on the treadmill. Bad idea: I hit myself on the bar and tripped in front of everyone. FML
Today, my boyfriend went to kiss me as we were walking home. It was very icy and he slipped. His teeth went through my lip. FML
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Top comments
Jimboom 12
Into self harm? Theres an app for that.
farmgirl 3
Apparently you never learned the difference between sexy and slutty.
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Comments (120)
sentient 10
I heartily applaud your intentions - its a shame it turned out so bad
myfriend_youfail 3
Please tell me you two were alone in that waiting room....no desk receptionist, no other patients waiting to be seen...and please tell me there were no windows. Because really, come on...who the hell exposes themselves in a public waiting area at the doctor's office????? That's somewhere between weird and nasty. Your phone was trying to tell you to keep your shirt on. ;)
him51772 0
/sigh id say its safe to assume that by 'waiting room' they meant they were already inside where the doctor was going to do the treatment, they were just waiting for him to finish with another patient. Not a chiropractors office but my towns local doctors office has multiple rooms used by one doctor at a time and you are brought in to wait for about 5 minutes before the doctor actually sees you. hope thats the case here anyway xD
upthedownslide 0
hahahahaha agreed :)
myfriend_youfail 3
Oh. Well, in my neck of the woods, "waiting room" means that big public area with lots of chairs and magazines, where everyone waits before being taken back into the actual exam rooms. The actual individual rooms are just called "exam rooms". I certainly hope that's the case...I don't think I want to go to a doctor's office where random girls flash their boobs in the common waiting area. O_o
sarcdude 3
Why in hell would you flash someone in a public place? YDI.
BelaLugosisdead 0
YDI Whoreface. =]
Attix 0
AH HAHAHAHA! That's the funniest thing I've heard in a while!!!
Brak_Spaceman 19
BOOBS
marshmallowmouse 0
Hot!
isitofficial_ 0
bahahahah, would have been waaaay worse if a doctor or another person came in. but seriously, this could be fake because there would have been a receptionist or some shiz. YDI OP.
louloustinng 0
did ur boyfriend like ur ****
xxhappyninjaxx 0
EPIC FAIL