Today, while in line at a gas station, I felt something on my shoulder. I turned around only to see a woman behind me pulling the sunburnt skin off my shoulder. When I told her to stop, she yelled, hit me with her purse and ran off crying. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I got in line at the grocery store. The woman in front of me looked right at me, turned to her friend, and said "That reminds me, I forgot to get acne cream." FML
Today, my girlfriend asked me to hold her purse while shopping. All of a sudden, a robber punched me in the face and took her purse. She started crying about her purse and told me to get off the ground because I was embarrassing her. FML
Today, I noticed a woman struggling to work a parking meter, so I went over to help. She took one look at me before screaming, hitting me in the face, and running back to her car. FML
Today, I was at the DMV getting temporary tags for my new car. While waiting in line, a huge fat lady behind me felt the need to run her finger down the scar on the back of my neck. FML
Today, while I was standing in line at the store, some guy insulted the girl in front of me as he walked past. She turned around and socked me in the face. FML
Today, I saw a toddler bolt in a parking lot. Since he was running towards the road behind me, I scooped him up to hand off to his mother. She shrieked, snatched him from my hands, and sprayed me with mace. While I was writhing in pain, some punk kid lifted my wallet and phone. FML
Today, a girl with her eyes glued to her phone bumped my arm going in the opposite direction on the sidewalk. She dropped her phone, chased me to the bus stop, and told everyone that I broke it. She threatened to call the police. FML
Today, I was grocery shopping, when an elderly lady walked up to me and tripped over her own feet. I caught her by the arm, at which point she shrieked at me for "groping" her. She ended up smirking as security threw me out of the store. FML
Today, while at the mall, a lady dropped her credit card while in line to buy something. I came over, picked it up and gave it to her just for her to shove it in my hand and scream, "She's stealing my wallet! My wallet!" The police came. FML
Today, I was at the store when I saw that a cart in the checkout line next to me was starting to roll away and the owner hadn't noticed. I tried to help by reaching out to stop the cart from moving, but when the owner saw me with the cart, she began to hit me for trying to steal her purse. FML
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Top comments
RetardedChipmunk 7
That's a weird fetish...
hellokat1 0
Did she eat it afterwards?
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Comments (302)
lmaoatall 6
she's got the Midas touch but she touched it too much hey goldmember hey goldmember
dom2ma 3
that's so creepy
Stevefett 0
Did she eat it?
Smoke954 0
phsyco or just on meds
FarSide 22
"Psycho" and NOT on her meds...
BitchynessIsGod 4
without a doubt she had some kind of mental illnes...
broomhildo 19
Why on earth would someone get the urge to peel someone's crusty skin....
LittleAlyce 0
ew ahaha. that is so weird !!
AliJayne19 0
that's disgusting! Who knows what was on her hands!
thinknomore 0
hshhahahahahahahahahahahaahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahjahahaa rape
rainbowprincesss 5
that's really creepy