Today, while I was in the break room at work, one of my coworkers walked in on me playing with my animal crackers, complete with animal noises. Now, the entire department won't stop teasing me and calling me Tarzan. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was pretending a long corridor at work was a catwalk, when a coworker walked out just in time to see me prancing around like an idiot. Now the whole building is laughing about it. FML
Today, while working at a nursing home, I was alone in the station and figured I could sneak one out. It wound up being very loud, and I could hear the faint snickering of a patient in the next room. Every time he saw me for the rest of the day he would burst out laughing. FML
Today, my co-worker and I played a game where we give each other the bird in whatever creative manner we could come up with. Deciding to be sneaky, I hid behind a wall with my middle finger up as I heard him walking into the office. It was my boss. FML
Today, one of my super obnoxious coworkers tried to snitch on me and record me for “being lazy” on the clock. I was sitting in my car, while eating trail mix ON MY BREAK. FML
Today, I was stuck with a coworker all morning while she had the "front farts." I moved to a different area after lunch, only to have another coworker start talking loudly about her boyfriend's skin tags, and how he likes to have her bite them off. I'm so disgusted but afraid to report it. FML
Today, the girl I like at work surprised me in the otherwise empty break room. She caught me taking part in what might as well have been the Ball-Scratching Olympics. I didn't notice she was behind me until she cleared her throat to get my attention. Shit. FML
Today, at work my boss called me into his office because he had received multiple complaints from coworkers about a prank sound machine I have been using to make inappropriate fart sounds at my desk. I wish it was a fart machine; I have a condition. FML
Today, a coworker filed a complaint against me, all because I ate a banana at lunch, which he claimed is "threateningly sexual", whatever the hell that means. FML
Today, the only cute girl in my office made fun of me because I'm 27 and bring fruit cups with my lunch. FML
Today, I was at work with my boyfriend. I was being playful and recounting something that had happened in my D&D session the night before. I imitated the roar from the dragon that the DM had done, and midway though, the postman walked in with a delivery. He walked back out without a word. FML
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Top comments
crchara 3
what else are animal crackers supposed to be used for?
ClassyCommando 13
Years ago, I was adrift at sea, all I had were my beloved animal crackers. I... had to eat them to survive. Every last one. The memories still haunt me. So I drink to dull my anguish.
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Comments (170)
CallsignArcher_fml 0
enjoy the little things
mabsc01 5
Dude... Seriously?!?!?!?!?!?
GoW_Chick 15
Hey I don't blame you, I can't pick up an animal cracker without making an animal noise and then I biting off it's head, who doesn't like to make snack time more fun no matter what your age
kei1108 13
Just lean into it and make fun of yourself! It'll work out for the best!
newlove_fml 0
Well, at least it's not a mean nickname. All that's left to do is work that nickname. OWN THAT JUNGLE >:U
aaliyah99 0
**** then for not being awesome like you! You got #Swaqq!
dhiran_singh 16
Ha!
simgar98 0
boss: im sorry but you are fired because you are behaving yourself as a child. so pack up and leave, now!!!
LaLa497 5
Screw them. Everyone should play with animal crackers!! (But in the meantime) Tarzan is awesome!! Embrace the title.
keshaforever1 14
**** them,animal crackers are the shiz.