Today, we had to re-live sex ed in my college biology class. Unlike in middle school, nobody giggled incessantly. However, the guy sitting next to me stared at me intensely for nearly the whole three hour lecture. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, in bio class, we were studying the reproductive system. I don't like talking about this stuff, and I twitched every time my teacher said "penis" or "vagina." When I told my family, they laughed and kept repeating those words just to see me twitch. FML
Today, the woman who sits behind me in class showed up. She shrieks in laughter until she has coughing fits every time anything even remotely sexual is mentioned, including evidence in sexual assault cases. Lectures are 3 hours long, twice a week, and I need this class to graduate. FML
Today, we got new seats in class today. The guy placed next to me, turned, looked me dead in the eye, and said, "The balls are the warmest place on the body" while his hands were in his pants. I'm stuck next to him for the rest of the semester. FML
Today, I was sitting in my school's crowded auditorium. When our single, abstinence-only ballsack of a Sex Ed teacher was announced to be stepping down due to being pregnant, I burst into uncontrollable laughter. My reward was aching sides and a week of detention. FML
Today, my crush was giving a presentation in class. I zoned out and began staring off into space - which happened to be in the exact direction of his crotch. When I realized what I was doing, I quickly looked up at his face. He was already looking at me, with an expression of severe discomfort. FML
Today, I was forced to spend three hours looking at a fat guy's butt crack, seated directly in front of me during an exam. I'm pretty sure it lowered my grade. FML
Today, I sat through an incredibly long and tedious class lecture. Just as my professor was nearing the end of his lecture, the resident stoner loudly yawned and asked what we'd been talking about for the past hour. We got to hear most of the lecture all over again. FML
Today, our favorite teacher walked into our history class and everyone started whistling, I decided to join in by screaming, "Sexy!" The room went quiet and all heads turned to me. FML
Today, I fell asleep in class. Usually, people just sit still when asleep. Nope, not me. Not only had I been violently rocking and nodding my head, the teacher stopped class for everyone to see for 5 minutes as she made jokes. What woke me? The intense laughter, followed by embarrassment. FML
Today, we got a new seating arrangement in my science class. I'm now sitting between two people who have spent the last 20 minutes whispering dirty things to one another. FML
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Top comments
BadKitty14 7
Stare back, maybe with a twitch or a facial tick, see how he likes it.
BrookieAnn 19
I bet if you actually talked to him he'd be good for months...
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Comments (82)
AttentionSeeker 6
Ask him if he wants some attention ;)
KingDead 18
That would probably just perk his interest more and not help her situation haha
FistToBalls 3
I think that was his point...
oj101 33
There's always that one intensely creepy kid.
perdix 31
At least, you now have a lab partner!
sugarshane007 20
However, his old right hand lab partner might be jealous, so I'd keep an eye on all five fingers of her!
UsernameHere234 13
And one who is willing to do every little thing you ask ;)
lilhellian 27
Never know.. He could've been like "Lets test that!" :D
kenoswild 14
Point at him, and yell 'stranger alert! stranger alert!'
DudeEvil 22
So OP looks crazy in front of her fellow class mates?
TheElBurrrito 21
#23, Of course she would look crazy, it's suppose to be *stranger danger, duh!
sugarshane007 20
Steer into the curve. Take him home, have your own sex ed. session, and when he is about to finish, wrap your legs around him and scream, "BE THE FATHER OF MY BABY!"
garrett1999o3 16
Hmmm...."Retro..."Haven't heard that word in a while.
BrookieAnn 19
I just laughed so hard I cried...good one
TheElBurrrito 21
#21 it's right. That FML is from forever ago- retro if you will. Definitely one of the best I've read.
Silly_Lilly6969 23
That's not that big an issue
Epikouros 32
FYL for being mute and having no arms.
Reaper1984 13
what he was trying to say was, "hey, how you doing?"
you_failed 15
Are you sure that wasn't Edward Cullen trying to read your mind?