Today, the instructions on my new IKEA bed made me cry. It includes a picture of a person working alone with a frown crossed out and is replaced by two smiling people working together. I have no one in my life to help me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, the only thing that cheered me up was a documentary about IKEA, and seeing how my furniture was made. FML
Today, I spent two hours building an IKEA bookshelf. When I was finished, I realized it was inside-out. There was no way to fix it without completely taking it apart again. FML
Today, I tried to put together some flat-pack furniture. I wound up in my underpants, screaming stuff like, "Fuck you, fucking Ikea bastard" at pieces of confusing plywood. FML
Today, I attempted to assemble a piece of furniture that boasted "easy, step-by-step instructions." Three hours later, surrounded by mismatched screws and a confusing diagram, I realized the only thing "easy" about it was my decision to ask my dad to come round and assemble it for me. FML
Today, I woke up with my face sharpied. I live alone. FML
Today, I spent an hour painstakingly disassembling my antique mirror after discovering a stack of papers behind the back board. I finally got hold of one corner, and pulled out… a newspaper from 2007 and instructions for an IKEA bed. FML
Today, I attempted to assemble a piece of furniture that claimed to be "easy to build in minutes." Four hours and multiple arguments later, I realized I had misread the instructions, and half the parts were upside down. I'm pretty sure the furniture won this round. FML
Today, I noticed that my weekend hobby is crying. I live in a city where I don't have a single friend or relative. FML
Today, I went into the bathroom and got angry upon finding that once again, no one had bothered to put on a new roll of toilet paper. And then I remembered that I live alone. FML
Today, after opening up to my husband about my mental struggles after a difficult birth, I shed a few tears. He left me there to go take a nap. FML
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Top comments
Luckster 0
These days it's actually not very easy to make friends. If you try to talk to a random person in a mall or a bar or anywhere, they just look at you like you're a ******* retarded moron, mock you, and walk away.
noshcherie 0
awwwww! i would help you.
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Comments (154)
MothsWings 4
Damn IKEA instructions -.-
captn_fml 0
Awh, that's really cute. I'd help!
xobianca 10
Ikea instructions are ******* useless it took my boyfriend and me two ******* days to build a closet.. there's no words, illiterate *****.
Splayd 10
I don't get it. I have lived all of my life as basically a recluse. I live with my parents. We are not on Christians (not Catholic) which rules out a lot of interaction, such as wild parties, but we have been largely poor for much of my life, meaning we do not go out to places like amusement parks, fairs, circuses or anything of the sort; not very often, anyway. In addition, I do not have a driver's license yet, and the only time I have ever been out of the house extensively is when I have had a job. (Blue Bayou Water Park, Rave Motion Pictures, Burger King and Cane's) Furthermore, I am homeschooled, meaning no "friends" from school, and also, I am socially awkward in general. (Though I have been improving because of the jobs) Not only these things, but I won't date a girl who has facial piercings, tattoos or does not believe in God and the Bible. (Partially personal preferences, partially Biblical) Now, despite AAAAAAAAAAAAAAALL of this, I have had an almost-girlfriend; I have spoken extensively with a girl who likes me a lot, and am currently dating an adorable red-head. I presently have one friend: The girl I'm dating; however, I know that if I had made a bit of an effort, I could have been great friends with one of my bosses, and two other guys from work. And, I'm slightly overweight, and a man. You are a woman, you are single: That's about all it takes to get friends in this world. HOW can you be alone? I don't understand! How is it possible? Anyone would be willing to befriend you. I would. Go out on the street and yell, "Does someone want to be friends?" And you'll probably get a few. (Though they may be crazy, and will probably have feathers and fly) Just do SOMETHING.
lalamike25 0
Crush yourself with the bed. That'd be my way out
Rainbow101365 5
guess you gotta work on it with a frown...:/
lantern 6
This is literally the funniest FML I've ever read. I'm sorry, OP
bunniex1 11
I'll help u :)
jboyajian86 1
How do you live in new York and have no friends you must be incredibly antisocial or far too picky about friends
robbie12321 9
awee its ok. ull find someone!!! :)