monocyte

About Monocyte

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Monocyte's FML badges

Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
It's in the can!
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
The rules are the rules
Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by Alan, our moderator.
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
The thumb strikes back
You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

5%
The return of the thumb
You have thumbed 5000 comments.

3%
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

0%
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

0%
Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja
You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

0%
Beginner
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

60%
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

67%
I agree, my mouse works.
200 "I agree" votes is a good start.

4%
YDI Master
You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.

2%
Judgmental
You have voted "You deserved it" over 100 times.

9%
50 favorites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!

36%
50 quality comments
Clicking to reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried afterwards is even worthier.

62%
A new thumb
You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

26%
100 kick-ass comments
100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

51%
One more and it's business time
You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.

1%

The list of badges to find

Monocyte's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend grinning at me, her hand on my junk. I grinned back, then looked down and saw blood smeared all over her hand and my junk. After I started screaming and crying, she laughed and said it was fake blood. She recorded everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Anonymous - / Sunday 4 August 2013 19:28 / United States - Scottsdale

Today, I held the door open for an old lady, before realizing she was a teacher taking 20-plus kids to lunch at local burger joint, all of whom got in front of me in the line to order. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Anonymous / Sunday 23 November 2014 17:46 / United States

Today, my boyfriend and I tried roleplaying a teacher-student during sex. We're both studying to be actors, so we ended up going into a really deep, emotional storyline that didn't end in sex at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By too good / Friday 24 October 2014 10:54 / United Kingdom - Dartford

Today, I tried to propose to my girlfriend, but I was so nervous that I had a panic attack, fainted and split my head open. My girlfriend then fainted at the sight of the blood. An onlooker had to call an ambulance for both of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it