Today, out of boredom, I decided to clean shave my beard and...

By CrimsonChin - 26/8/2017 04:30

Today, out of boredom, I decided to clean shave my beard and moustache for the first time in 3 years. My new nickname at work is The Crimson Chin. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3167

You deserved it

558

Favorite

Who's a good boy?

British Broadcasting Corporation

Long story short

By Laila - 20/2/2013 12:01 - United States

Today, my son asked me if the short films I write are for little kids or for adults. Since I write horror-filled films, I said it was for adults. He went and told his teacher that I made "adult films". FML

I agree, your life sucks

39421

You deserved it

5199

Favorite

By Jonathan - 13/10/2008 08:27

Today, I woke up next to a beautiful, half-naked brunette in my bed. Two minutes later, my alarm clock woke me up for real. FML

I agree, your life sucks

73295

You deserved it

19681

Favorite

By Anonymous - 7/9/2014 07:01 - United States - Whittier

Today, I realized how truly insecure I really am, when the guy in the show I'm watching looked straight into the camera and I immediately looked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39882

You deserved it

5313

Favorite

By Anonymous - 24/6/2012 05:01 - United States - Sacramento

Today, my boyfriend told me I was almost perfect. And the only reason I'm not completely perfect is because I don't like Mountain Dew. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20262

You deserved it

29611

Favorite

By Anonymous - 13/10/2014 15:42 - Australia - Burnside

Today, my wife pressed a button in the elevator and quickly ran out, leaving me in there with my crying baby. When the elevator arrived at the floor, the doors opened on a wedding reception. The doors couldn't have taken any longer to close again FML

I agree, your life sucks

39931

You deserved it

3867

Favorite

By MrsFart - 18/8/2018 01:30

RIP

Today, I thought I was all alone in the class, so I lifted up my leg and ripped a huge fart. One of my students was still in there. He told everybody. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2532

You deserved it

1680

Favorite

By cathouse - 26/3/2011 19:27 - United Kingdom

Today, my family came back from holiday to discover that my little sister had messed with the cat flap before we left. Several stray cats were able to come in, but were unable to get out, and left shit in various areas around the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32792

You deserved it

4201

Favorite

By HWS - 15/4/2011 05:47 - Canada

Today, I sneezed so hard I fell down the stairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35178

You deserved it

7752

Favorite

By JennyAndrews - 5/12/2009 08:44 - United Arab Emirates

Today, I was texting this cute guy that I like. After a couple of minutes I get a missed call from him, I call back and his girlfriend answers and says "Hi this is his girlfriend, please stop calling him". FML

I agree, your life sucks

15098

You deserved it

30986

Favorite

By Anonymous - 24/1/2011 00:07 - United States

Today, I went to see "Black Swan" with my parents, not realizing that it was basically a porno. So I sat next to my dad while Mila Kunis and Natalie Portman had passionate lesbian sex on a twenty foot screen. And I'm pretty sure I heard the old guy behind us jacking off. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40695

You deserved it

7103

Favorite

By Ace - 1/4/2016 02:17 - United States - Mount Pleasant

Today, this guy I was seeing dumped me for "bombarding" him with text messages. I'd sent him one text asking if he was okay, after he stood me up 2 nights in a row. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21722

You deserved it

1772

Favorite

By single - 15/12/2017 10:00 - United States - San Jose

Today, my girlfriend got paid by the richest guy in our school to go to the Winter Formal with him. She took up the offer. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5099

You deserved it

482

Favorite

By LittleRed79 - 3/11/2016 04:49 - Canada

Today, it's difficult being a single woman in my city: The female/male ratio is 3:1, and the last 3 dates I've been on were with a guy who kept asking for nudes, an aggressive raging alcoholic, and what turned out to be a married man. I'm seriously considering adopting several more cats. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11778

You deserved it

1008

Favorite

By Mikaela - 1/6/2012 03:25 - United States

Today, I saw my reflection in the computer screen and I thought I looked quite nice. I tried to take a screenshot. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7824

You deserved it

31254

Favorite

By swervelol - 14/7/2016 19:06

Today, as well as for the past two weeks, my brother has been making up songs about farts and singing them non-stop. He's 26. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11669

You deserved it

1073

Favorite

By Anonymous - 6/1/2010 18:19 - United States

Today, I found out my dad spent most of the $500 I earned from mowing lawns on an Xbox 360 for himself. He was the one who encouraged me to put the money in the bank for college and to learn responsibility. I'm 14 years old. He's 37. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38804

You deserved it

2839

Favorite

By targetlove - 10/1/2010 01:23 - Australia

Today, I was in a rush to get to the toilet, I went in and sat on the seat. Then I felt a stinging pain on my left bum cheek. I jumped up quickly to see a wasp splashing around in the bowl. It stung me, and now have a bum cheek twice its normal size, and pee all over my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31179

You deserved it

3381

Favorite

By biggs sprhro - 10/10/2015 04:25 - United States - Bryan

Today, my friends were right about me being whipped. My girlfriend now has me setting an alarm for 3 hrs after she's fallen asleep, all so I can uncover her feet so she doesn't get too warm. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21604

You deserved it

15290

Favorite

By Anonymous - 4/11/2010 06:41 - United States

Today, I called a guy who had requested a free marketing consultation for his funeral home through the internet a couple of days ago. When I got through, the receptionist seemed a little taken back by me wanting to talk to him. He had died and was buried yesterday. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24379

You deserved it

2620

Favorite

By extants - 11/2/2010 20:13 - United States

Today, I found out my broker invested my $6000 in the wrong stock. How did I find out? He called me to let me know the stock crashed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30257

You deserved it

3616

Favorite

By ICantBelieveThis - 6/3/2010 14:31 - United States

Today, I had sex with my girlfriend in her room. That means: Jonas Brothers posters on the wall, Jonas Brothers pillows, sheets, comforter and stuffed dog. After we did it, she apologized to her posters for having to see that, since they're pure. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35198

You deserved it

8891

Favorite

By damn... - 28/10/2008 08:40 - United Kingdom

Today, I was at a job conference. At lunch, I saw this stunning guy. At dessert time, I coughed so much that the piece of chocolate cake in my mouth went straight onto his glasses. I think it's too late to introduce myself now. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34610

You deserved it

6188

Favorite

By LeaveTheGuyAlone - 29/7/2013 00:18 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I found out that my girlfriend hasn't really been "researching" for work on the Internet; she's actually been tweeting the same pathetic plea to a guy from One Direction asking him to "follow" her. She's 29. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45332

You deserved it

5070

Favorite

By NNTA - 26/12/2013 23:21 - Netherlands - Maastricht

Today, as I was driving back home from my grandma's, I looked over at the guy in the lane beside me, only to witness him with a sandwich between his teeth and his cock in his free hand. Now I know why I don't leave the city, or even drive, more often. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44114

You deserved it

4487

Favorite

By mydadsawsooomuch - 17/11/2010 13:26 - United States

Today, in the wee hours of the morning I decided to make a naked dash to the bathroom, unfortunately, my dad decided to do the same thing at the exact same time. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41041

You deserved it

9772

Favorite

By skyhawk13 - 30/10/2009 05:11 - United States

Today, at my school's Midnight Madness, I was selected to show my school spirit in a contest. Being drunk, I decided to hump the school mascot in front of 300 people. FML

I agree, your life sucks

8102

You deserved it

53668

Favorite

By Anonymous - 15/10/2010 23:01 - Canada

Today, I went to class with my bag packed for a weekend trip when it began to vibrate violently. Stopping mid-lecture, the professor approached me and asked politely if I could turn off my cell phone as I was disturbing the other 150 pupils in the class. It was my personal vibrator. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12434

You deserved it

46839

Favorite

By Iahim - 25/1/2020 14:00

The truth

Today, I tried to prank my girlfriend. I said, “I saw you kissing another guy!” She apologized. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2229

You deserved it

642

Favorite

By Dhagiik - 24/2/2017 18:00 - United States - Oak Park

Today, I walked into the bathroom at work, and in the stall next to me I could hear someone pleasuring himself. I decided to let my boss know what was going on, but it turns out that it was my boss in the stall next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

6978

You deserved it

1079

Favorite

By Yuni - 8/10/2019 06:00 - United States

Mom of the year

Today, I went to a restaurant that I always go to, and one of the cute waiters gave me a discount. My mother called me a whore in the middle of the restaurant, then slapped me when I cried. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2332

You deserved it

132

Favorite

By bird - 8/1/2014 20:27 - United States - Fort Gratiot

Today, I learned that my new parakeet hates her reflection, and will screech loudly day and night unless I take the mirror out. My other parakeet loves the mirror and constantly cries out when I remove it. I can't win. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47570

You deserved it

6121

Favorite

By myheadhurts - 21/6/2009 07:09 - United States

Today, I came home from an amazing cruise to find that my house broken into. My best friend apparently decided to invite her drug addicted friends into my home while I was away where they stole 172$ and my migraine pills, which are non-refillable. I now have a migraine. FML

I agree, your life sucks

51082

You deserved it

5395

Favorite

By x.x - 6/7/2014 05:09 - United States - Tampa

Today, I was taking a shower when the soap began to burn my eyes worse than they've ever burned before. I quickly grabbed whatever cloth I could find to rub my eyes with. My dad's old underwear was the last thing I would expect to find lying near the tub. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42267

You deserved it

5734

Favorite

By Zzz - 30/1/2017 16:00 - United States - Brighton

Today, I took a team meeting from home. More specifically, my bed. Because I make great decisions, I ended up falling asleep. At some point during my nap, my cat walked over my keyboard, turning on my webcam. I woke up to my video on and no one left in the meeting. Everyone saw. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4288

You deserved it

5567

Favorite

By Anonymous - 20/1/2010 18:21 - United States

Today, I decided to treat my yeast infection over the counter to avoid going to the doctor. Too bad I didn't read the directions. Now I have to go to the doctor to get the tip of the applicator removed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7716

You deserved it

38796

Favorite

By Anonymous - 1/11/2010 17:30 - United States

Today, I drove to the hospital to see my newborn. I went to the room, picked him out of the crate and held him. Then I heard the toilet flush and saw a woman who I didn't know come out. She screamed. My wife was in the room next door. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31374

You deserved it

10286

Favorite

By hairdresser - 9/3/2013 09:05 - Australia

Today, my boss told me that, while he respects the fact that I have my own style, I have to stop wearing "that hideous wig" because apparently, it "makes the clientele uncomfortable". I don't have a wig. It's my natural hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33459

You deserved it

4013

Favorite

By Anonymous - 9/7/2019 07:00 - Colombia - Bogot?

Any damage? Who nose?

Today, it's the seventh day after my nose job. I was taking something out of a box and pulled too hard. I punched myself in the nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1395

You deserved it

621

Favorite

By soccerscout7 - 8/2/2011 12:48

Today, I was leaving school to get tested for peptic ulcers, because my stomach has been hurting for a few months. To wish me luck, one of my friends gave me a friendly punch in the stomach. I threw up blood. FML

I agree, your life sucks

49648

You deserved it

3141

Favorite

By dantheman - 24/7/2009 14:56 - United States

Today, I just got a new assignment for the moving company I work for. Two weeks ago my fiancé dumped me and I moved out of the house. Almost all of the furniture was mine and it took forever. The new moving assignment I have is moving her new boyfriend into my old house. FML

I agree, your life sucks

50198

You deserved it

2791

Favorite

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By mackdeezy | 21

#7534031 - Saturday 26 August 2017 6:31

*sings* Here comes The Crimson Chin!

By LeoCor | 18

#7534014 - Saturday 26 August 2017 5:13

Haha that sounds like a pretty cool name... however it's up to you but maybe keep it shaven from now on if you don't want it to happen again.

COMMENTS

By LeoCor | 18

#7534014 - Saturday 26 August 2017 5:13

Haha that sounds like a pretty cool name... however it's up to you but maybe keep it shaven from now on if you don't want it to happen again.

By mackdeezy | 21

#7534031 - Saturday 26 August 2017 6:31

*sings* Here comes The Crimson Chin!

By eitnuom | 4

#7534044 - Saturday 26 August 2017 8:04

Hopefully you took it on the crimson chin

By tonyfan00 | 38

#7534053 - Saturday 26 August 2017 8:11

You better be wearing red...

By RichardPencil | 28

#7534092 - Saturday 26 August 2017 10:25

I think you can join the Mafia now.

By Glowworm56 | 25

#7534138 - Saturday 26 August 2017 14:08

Now pick a coworker to be Cleft, the Boy Chin Wonder!

By draghkar | 16

#7534155 - Saturday 26 August 2017 15:20

Clearly you don't shave often, but a rub with an alum block, then splash with witch hazel: it should be part of the normal routine, and the redness will be gone.

By Firestar268 | 24

#7534226 - Saturday 26 August 2017 17:59

To be honest crimson Chin doesn't sound that bad

By Chris Smith | 9

#7534235 - Saturday 26 August 2017 19:07

better than the double-chin

By RockPrincess26 | 16

#7534272 - Saturday 26 August 2017 21:46

Are you going to go fight villains after work?