Today, my wife and I went shopping for new glasses at a local store, but we didn't really get to actually buying one. On our way back, she warned me that my glasses of choice should in no way be 'those big arty ones'. When I asked her why not, she told me that I 'look gay enough already'. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Same thing different taste
Slightly homophobic, but OK…
Today, I was pulled into an argument between a woman and her boyfriend. He wanted to buy a jacket and she wanted my opinion, as a gay man, on whether it suited him. I’m not gay, I'm even married to a woman. They were very surprised because apparently I look "super gay." Other shoppers agreed. FML
Leave me be
Today, I was verbally abused by a customer at my job. Apparently, wearing "ugly, thick-framed hipster glasses as a fashion statement is a HUGE faux pas." These are my actual prescription glasses, and "faux pas" is not pronounced "fox paws". FML
Tunnel vision
Today, my boyfriend said that no, I'm not allowed to get glasses and then accused me of wanting to see other men. No, I just want to see. FML
Today, I looked deep into my wife's eyes and told her how much I loved her and how much she meant to me. Her reply was, "Clean your glasses." FML
Dork
Today, I saw my grandma for the first time since I got new glasses. Wanting to be different, I got crystal colored ones instead of black. She said, "Thank God. You looked so dorky with your giant nerd glasses!" Love you too, grandma. FML
Being nice is so 1968
Today, I decided to do something nice and compliment a stranger. I told a girl that I liked her skirt and that it looked good on her. She just rolled her eyes at me and said, "I'm not gay". FML
Today, I wore a pair of glasses with no lenses because I thought I'd look smarter. I ended up poking myself in the eye several times, leaving it swollen. So much for making me look smarter. FML
Mistaken identity
Today, I asked my crush out for coffee but she wanted to go shopping. When she pulled me into the dressing room for my opinion on a bikini, I told her this was too fast for a first date. She looked at me in absolute horror. She thought I was gay, as in a harmless gay friend she could take shopping. FML
Today, at work as an optician, I gave a little girl a new pair of glasses and asked her if she could see better with them. She replied, "Oh, yeah, you've got two big zits on your nose!" FML
Late start
Today, I was planning on meeting my friend at the mall. She came late, and I was in the dressing room trying on a few things. When I came out to meet her, she looked at me oddly and said, "You shouldn't buy that, it looks terrible on you." Those were the clothes I came in. FML
Top comments
lmmmr 0
Dude, she married you. She clearly finds you attractive. Quit crying.
Overcast117 5
It may have been a backwards compliment. Most women find gay guys attractive. And, ironically, most gay guys do not. :|
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Comments (140)
RedRose 0
Metro men are amazing.
helios_rex 0
Amazingly gay. Seriously, how are today's girls going head over heels for these fag-looking, fragile little bitch dudes.
JoeBen_fml 5
because they're realizing that the macho beefheads are assholes
booklvr630 0
Not all men who aren't metros are "macho beefheads"; not all "macho beefheads" are assholes; and there IS a tasteful mix between metros & "macho beefheads". It's not one or the other.
RLJJ 0
Women are really awkward... If you look gay, she shouldn't fear that other women might be interested in you. So where's the problem ?
sallay 0
reminds me of the scene from "he's just not that in to you" "can i get you a beer?" -guy turns around in tight purple shirt" "... or an apple martini?" ahaha :P
easylazy 0
Wow what a great call Why is this an FML? It should be the opposite b/c now you DON'T look really, REALLY gay. She saved you man. You shouldn't be angry at her, but grateful.
dirtyrawr 0
The FML is because his wife said 'you're already gay enough', I'm sure most guys don't wanna hear that.
americayay 0
She's a bit judgemental and mean, but wouldn't you rather know she thinks they make you look gay BEFORE you buy them? And which part makes your life ******: your kind of mean wife or the fact that you look super gay?
netbeui435 3
effing bitch
americayay 0
#8 Um... I'm hoping that you're kidding. If not, WOW, you are really and truly a dispicable human being.
GothamKnight 0
I wouldn't take it offensively. It's the common phrase these days to say that you don't like the way something looks or acts like.
lmmmr 0
Dude, she married you. She clearly finds you attractive. Quit crying.
Overcast117 5
It may have been a backwards compliment. Most women find gay guys attractive. And, ironically, most gay guys do not. :|
StoneColdNigga 0
I feel bad for yo girl that she has a fag ass husband.
Overcast117 5
Now before everybody goes and thumbs-down's #36. Just consider for a moment how funny it actually is.