By Anonymous - 13/09/2009 09:27 - United States
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All family's suck. Get over it.
She was probably most worried about you, her boring stick-in-the-mud wet blanket of a son who wouldn't know what having fun is if it bit him on the ass. I'm actually barbecuing right now and if my guests don't look at it and yell, "Who's your daddy?" or something like that, it's an epic fail for me! ;)
I finished it at 7pm CDT. It's smoked brisket -- takes forever! We're serving it Friday, c'mon over. If you can't make it, don't worry. I'll make it a lot out in rural Utah. We'll have to import mesquite from Texas, though. We gave a little to my brother-in-law and guess what he said? "Who's you daddy?!" The OP is a dullard, just like I said before.
Lolwut @ 120. plexi, what are you preparing for, the last supper!? That's a long time... Ok, I'll be there Friday. Make all the little children leave me alone, though. I told you you can't make brisket in Utah! The plexikids need a good role model with better taste in food. =) I think he actually said "afshghhfasgjh *gurgle* sakfhjgninaf" and you mistook it for a compliment.
Congrats on the Cheetos in the hair caper. Comedy genius! Your equation is fucked up. Just because you snuck in a report of being victimized by the group of douchebags you call "friends" doesn't make you "greater than" any witty commenter. I could start a list of many names all of whom are > you, but I wouldn't want to offend anyone I might accidentally leave off. If you have to call yourself "cool," you are not. Same thing goes with "funny" and "smart" and "fair and balanced" in case you want to get a really cool nickname. I guess I haven't published any FML's because my life is pretty good. The F'd part is tedium, ennui, boredom -- nothing that can fit in a punchy 300-character statement. Bad things happen but they are not really funny or unique. So to win your approval, I'm submitting this one: Today, I was enjoying FML as usual, when I was verbally attacked by some crazed, douchebag bitch who has some sort of hard-on for me. She was claiming to be superior to me because she has birdshit in her hair. Her attempts to curse me obviously reveal that she is madly, though obsessively, in love with me. FML. Wish me luck!
Get a new family.
Poor thing, this is a real FML =/