Today, my wardrobe door jammed, and I couldn't change out into some nice clothes for my date. On the way there, my car broke down. Not wanting to be late and make a bad impression, I scuttled the rest of the way, only to find I'd been stood up. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I thought I'd be a suave gentleman by opening the car door for my date. The handle came off in my hand, and I had to spend the next 15 minutes pretending I was doing an impromptu repair on my piece of shit car, when I had no idea what I was doing. FML
Today, I dressed up for a date. After waiting for hours, sending countless texts and voice mails to my date, and thinking I'd been stood up, I remembered my date is actually scheduled for tomorrow. FML
Today, I spent ages getting dressed up for a date I’ve been excited for. I even put on cologne for the first time in forever. When I arrived at the restaurant, I realized I had forgotten my wallet. I spent the entire meal pretending to be “really into the conversation” while internally panicking about how I was going to pay. It didn't end well. FML
Today, I went on the first date I've been on in years. While walking into the movie theatre, one of my shoes broke. Then I remembered that I needed to grab my mask. While walking back to the car, my other shoe broke. After the movie, I tripped on my broken shoes, and brought him down with me. FML
Today, I tried to impress my date by confidently parallel parking on a busy street. I hit the curb twice, stalled the car, and somehow set off my alarm. Then I locked the keys inside while it screamed. We stood there in silence while people watched. FML
Today, I had a date with a girl. Wanting to make a good impression, I spend a lot of time getting ready and by the time I get to the place we were supposed to meet she isn't there anymore. I call her to see where she is. She's in bed with another guy and says "I was REALLY waiting for you". FML
Today, I went in my car to a very important job interview. I was out of gas, so I had to get some on the way. When i was done pumping, I went to get back in and the door handle broke off on the driver's side. Then I blew a tire on a piece of metal. Needless to say, I lost my chance. FML
Today, I got into a fender bender on my way to an important meeting. The damage to my car was minimal, but I was so flustered that I ended up getting lost and arrived late to the meeting. To make matters worse, I'd forgotten my notes in the car and had to wing it. Needless to say, the meeting didn't go well. FML
Today, I got stood up on a date. To add insult to injury, meeting up was her idea. FML
Today, I was at my new store, fixing it up. I was about to leave, so I took my clothes off to let the dirty ones dry, as I had other clothes in my car. I walked to the back of my store and the back door locked. The car was locked. I was in my boxers with no phone and no way to go home for 3 hours. FML
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Top comments
Nutty4Muffs 3
The word "scuttled" made the FML.
CaramelMacchiato 13
Watch out guys. We've got a badass over here.
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Comments (88)
Ray_of_midnight 23
Better you found out what a jerk this guy was up-front, before you invested anything in the relationship. oh well, lots of others out there.
Il_Maestro 6
I think Noor is just pointing fingers. Clearly she's behind the misfortune.
Isoldael 27
Does that mean she also sabotaged OP's date (and clearly with more success)? Eek! -looks around paranoid-
firetrix 0
murphy's law at work... sorry to hear that OP
mrrossh 3
You need a new car, a new man, and a sledgehammer for your wardrobe door.
vbmg152 19
Scuttled?
arw31089 2
Universe didn't want it to happen. You'll be okay op
SamSkylight 4
These were all signs not to meet this guy and stay home.
angelinaanimerg 7
If its a deer tick make sure to get antibiotics for lyme disease!!!!
andrealovvve 17
Wrong story?
RKD 23
Sorry to hear, op! Happens to all of us ! Remember a time when I got all dudded up, I mean coat, tie, the works and got stood up! The guy must have been a real jerk, and you are better off! Hope you can get in your place and the repair bill isn't high!