Today, my wardrobe door jammed, and I couldn't change out into some nice clothes for my date. On the way there, my car broke down. Not wanting to be late and make a bad impression, I scuttled the rest of the way, only to find I'd been stood up. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I thought I'd be a suave gentleman by opening the car door for my date. The handle came off in my hand, and I had to spend the next 15 minutes pretending I was doing an impromptu repair on my piece of shit car, when I had no idea what I was doing. FML
Today, I dressed up for a date. After waiting for hours, sending countless texts and voice mails to my date, and thinking I'd been stood up, I remembered my date is actually scheduled for tomorrow. FML
Today, I spent ages getting dressed up for a date I’ve been excited for. I even put on cologne for the first time in forever. When I arrived at the restaurant, I realized I had forgotten my wallet. I spent the entire meal pretending to be “really into the conversation” while internally panicking about how I was going to pay. It didn't end well. FML
Today, I went on the first date I've been on in years. While walking into the movie theatre, one of my shoes broke. Then I remembered that I needed to grab my mask. While walking back to the car, my other shoe broke. After the movie, I tripped on my broken shoes, and brought him down with me. FML
Today, I tried to impress my date by confidently parallel parking on a busy street. I hit the curb twice, stalled the car, and somehow set off my alarm. Then I locked the keys inside while it screamed. We stood there in silence while people watched. FML
Today, I had a date with a girl. Wanting to make a good impression, I spend a lot of time getting ready and by the time I get to the place we were supposed to meet she isn't there anymore. I call her to see where she is. She's in bed with another guy and says "I was REALLY waiting for you". FML
Today, I went in my car to a very important job interview. I was out of gas, so I had to get some on the way. When i was done pumping, I went to get back in and the door handle broke off on the driver's side. Then I blew a tire on a piece of metal. Needless to say, I lost my chance. FML
Today, I got into a fender bender on my way to an important meeting. The damage to my car was minimal, but I was so flustered that I ended up getting lost and arrived late to the meeting. To make matters worse, I'd forgotten my notes in the car and had to wing it. Needless to say, the meeting didn't go well. FML
Today, I got stood up on a date. To add insult to injury, meeting up was her idea. FML
Today, I was at my new store, fixing it up. I was about to leave, so I took my clothes off to let the dirty ones dry, as I had other clothes in my car. I walked to the back of my store and the back door locked. The car was locked. I was in my boxers with no phone and no way to go home for 3 hours. FML
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Top comments
Nutty4Muffs 3
The word "scuttled" made the FML.
CaramelMacchiato 13
Watch out guys. We've got a badass over here.
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Comments (88)
suzy90 1
Ouch OP! But, atleast it'll be a good story to laugh at one of these days...
nightwishs 13
That trucking sucks Hun. Sorry to hear your having such rotten luck. Things can only get better for you from here :)
manda_panda25 4
I think the Universe was really trying to tell you something. That is a really bad day though, FYL
ICastillo 25
Dang you just weren't destined to go on a date that day....
Pandacupcakelove 26
Wow! That is some major bad luck! Oh well, hang in there! Grass is always greener on the other side :)
Yaen 18
Pity, OP. Maybe you'll have better luck another day.
iloveursister 4
Did you do the Dr. Zoidberg scuttle?
ambowew 7
I imagined her doing his scuttle (pincers and all) along the side of the road.
reddudeover 2
When you came back your car had been towed. D:
isaiaah 6
At least it wasn't on a real date, where the guy would see you sweaty, dirty, and not wearing nice clothes. Now you can make sure your good next time
Acaprice14 9
Was this before or after your bed broke?