Kids: Today, my tween daughter found an exciting new book series to... - FML

By Tweenmom - 13/04/2017 16:00

Today, my tween daughter found an exciting new book series to replace her two-year obsession with Harry Potter. Hello, Team Jacob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 732

You deserved it 545

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Same thing different taste

By team hit bella with a car - 20/10/2014 02:20 - United States - Odenton

Today, after waiting for years for my oldest daughter to grow out of Twilight, my younger daughter discovered it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 503

You deserved it 3 721

Audible readers empathize

By Anonymous - 28/05/2023 20:00 - Australia

Today, It's been a few months since I started reading the Harry Potter books to my daughter. She told me a list of all her favorite characters. I didn't have the heart to tell her that every single one of them dies by the end of the seventh book. FML

I agree, your life sucks 711

You deserved it 183

By notawizard - 16/07/2009 10:16 - Spain

Today, my daughter turned 11. Since she LOVES Harry Potter, I decided to write her an acceptance letter to Hogwarts. When she saw the letter, she screamed and showed me. When she found out I wrote it, she told me she hated me, started crying, and stepped on my foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 338

You deserved it 95 108

By Nate - 12/01/2012 05:36 - United States

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I have never read any of the Harry Potter books. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 776

You deserved it 59 099

By So little trust. - 12/07/2013 23:18 - Canada - Coaldale

Today, I walked in on my daughter hugging and sobbing into her Edward Cullen cut-out. She won't tell me what's wrong, yet she can confide in a creepy fictional stalker whose facial expression is locked to "chronically constipated". Where did I go wrong? FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 451

You deserved it 7 649

Stuck in the past

By Anonymous - 05/04/2020 05:00

Today, I found out my boyfriend still writes Twilight fan fiction. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 400

You deserved it 400

By Jill - 15/06/2013 04:19 - United States - Santa Rosa

Today, I was going through my daughter's contacts, except all of them had names from Harry Potter. I found the name "Mom." I was relieved I didn't have some silly name, until I realized it wasn't my number; it was her father's new wife. My number was under "Voldemort." FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 348

You deserved it 22 743

By obnum - 24/05/2013 12:26 - United States - New York

Today, after months of being pestered to do so, I finally read the first Harry Potter book. I hated it. Upon hearing this, my girlfriend posted the fact on Facebook, where I immediately received tons of abuse and eventual shunning by my friends, family, and coworkers. My girlfriend just laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 218

You deserved it 45 840

By Anonymous - 05/10/2012 02:45 - United States - Miami

Today, I saw on my 17-year-old daughter's floor her "To-Do" list. What was #1? Jump in front of a moving vehicle, in hopes that Edward Cullen will use his vampire speed to save her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 007

You deserved it 4 236

Throwing shade

By deargodwhy - 04/09/2020 10:03

Today, my 12-year-old daughter was suspended from school for doing a book report on 50 Shades of Grey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 151

You deserved it 779

Next

Top comments

mala_19 19

Thursday 13 April 2017 16:51

How could she just dump Harry Potter like that?! ?

RichardPencil 30

Thursday 13 April 2017 16:46

At least it's a less harmful obsession than boys. Fictional werewolves and vampires can't give girls STDs like herpes or pregnancy. Better Team Jacob than Team Chlamydia.

Comments

Talis99 26

Friday 14 April 2017 19:58

Ain't she going to be pissed.

Taurus_ChicKa 36

Saturday 15 April 2017 23:33

Well, at least she moved up the ladder to a better series. But if she's Team Jacob, she's going to be disappointed.

CSXIV 19

Monday 17 April 2017 4:40

I'm impressed. I didn't think Twilight was still relevant.

mariri9206 32

Monday 17 April 2017 8:22

What do you mean it's not relevant? Tarzan? Cinderella? Jumanji? Power Rangers? Beauty and the Beast? And all of them in theaters - we're totally reliving 80s/90s/early 2000s. lol

whoaitsamber 20

Wednesday 19 April 2017 6:27

15 years going strong with my Harry Potter obsession

Mozelle123 10

Friday 2 June 2017 21:59

Omg I'm so sorry for you... team Jacob??? Y do? (Pls no hate comments it was a joke)

lucasjames22 8

Sunday 30 July 2017 15:00

what is wrong with you? she's reading which is a wonderful thing. they get obsessed...not a big deal.

Orion 9

Wednesday 18 July 2018 1:43

your daughter needs to be disowned

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The Top

Today, after weeks of stealing lunch from one of my employees, he made a sandwich with canned cat food, soap, and something unimaginably spicy that caused me to spew all over my office and laptop. I fired him. Now everyone is treating me like a monster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51

You deserved it 2 126

Today, I get to add spaghetti sauce to my rather extensive list of things that don't belong in a person's eye but that end up in mine anyway. Other items include molten cheese, rock salt, orange juice, chips of nail polish, cotton fibers, and firework ash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 111

You deserved it 5 027

The Top

Today, I came back home from a holiday with family. Finally being on my own, I did some catching up on my masturbation. I have jerked off so much and/or so vigorously, I now have a carpet burn on my penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 308

You deserved it 1 625

Today, I had to rush to the airport to catch a flight to California for my sister's wedding. On my way out, my roommate gave me his neck pillow for comfort. Turns out the pillow was filled with weed, and I was arrested while going through security. I missed my sister's wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 751

You deserved it 523

Today, I'm realizing the woman I've been in love with for 8 years has become completely disinterested in me. I can't even connect on a basic, "How was your day?" level without her her zoning out or getting lost in her phone, only to apologize when I say something and then not even ask what I had to say. We have 2 kids now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 079

You deserved it 138

Today, my Twitter got hacked, and I can't get it back. Everyone now thinks I live in a trailer and have multiple STDs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 581

You deserved it 262

Today, we finally got our first electricity bill for our new flat. I was shocked to see that we had used £60 worth of electricity in 6 weeks. Then I noticed that it was only an estimate, and that we could read the meter ourselves to correct the amount. We now have to pay nearly £400. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 971

You deserved it 7 789

Today, I realized every time I go to take a poop, my 9 month old crawls into the bathroom and sobs at my feet. I now have to let my 9 month old sit on my lap while I shit, because I can't do it any other way. The end to all privacy has now come. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 760

You deserved it 10 410