Today, my step-dad tried to talk me into getting plastic surgery. His reasoning: "Let's face it, 28 and single? Look, I know your mum gave you shitty genes, but that's no excuse to avoid fixing your face, honey." FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I mentioned to my family that I was sad about the fact that I was thirty-five years-old, single, and had no children. My father piped up from the next room, "What man in his right would want your lopsided tits, fat thighs, and fucked-up nose in their gene pool?" FML
Today, my sister tried to convince me to go to a plastic surgeon, because "Bitchface Syndrome's no joke." FML
Today, my father decided to "prepare" me for the real world by telling me that I'm ugly. FML
Today, I told my parents I wanted to try modelling. I thought that since I have such a low self-esteem, that it might benefit me, and make me feel better about myself and how I look. The first thing out of my dad's mouth was, "What? Why? You're ugly." Thanks dad. FML
Today, I told my mom I want to get liposuction. She said "Whats the point? Its not like you can get lipo on your face!". FML
Today, I met some guys from my dad's workplace. They told him what a pretty daughter he had, to which he responded, "Nah, it's just shit-loads of makeup." FML
Today, my stepfather-to-be yelled at me, insisting I take my nose piercing out, because it will "ruin the wedding photos" since I'm a bridesmaid. It's a tiny diamante stud, no bigger than a small pinhead. He then went on a rant about how I need to respect his authority in the family. I'm 25. FML
Today, I overheard my dad telling my mum that the only way I'm ever going to get into a relationship is if I "pose as a woman and con some gullible bastard online." He's probably right. FML
Today, my father was telling me that one of the benefits about his job was that the family could get discounts, then asked if I'd like some. My dad's a plastic surgeon. FML
Today, in thanks for my assistance, a customer recommended me a plastic surgeon who could "really help with that face." FML
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Top comments
PaigeLeeAnn11 23
Your step-dad is a dick.
Wittledinosaure 7
He's looking out for your future. What a great guy.
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Comments (102)
SizzlePink 4
the retard obviously isnt so hott himself if all he can get is your mother who he finds ugly
tommylov_fml 2
your step dad refers to you as honey?
kawaii666 19
Tell him to get a bigger dick cause UR moms not impressed.
legendof90 14
A good punch should go somewhere