Kids: Today, my son and I attended the funeral of a family friend....

By nosonofmine - 23/06/2012 17:43 - Iceland - Reykjav

Today, my son and I attended the funeral of a family friend. It went as well as any funeral could, up until the point that my apparently drunk son tried to grope the widow. I came an inch away from causing my son to need his own funeral. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 535

You deserved it 2 855

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Same thing different taste

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By Anonymous - 29/03/2023 14:00

Today, my son is such an idiot that he forgot he invited both his girlfriends to my brother's funeral. They started a punch-up over him and everyone ended up joining in since we're a very argumentative family. People got arrested and in the end both girls agreed to share my son, who was unconscious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 050

You deserved it 241

Dead wrong

By Anonymous - 18/06/2020 08:08

Today, I attended my husband's funeral and my son carried out the eulogy, which basically turned into a character assassination, ending with "and I hope Hell is hot enough for you, old man." Almost our entire family agreed with every word he said. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 814

You deserved it 554

By OhDear - 25/05/2011 01:34 - United States

Today, I went to a friend's wedding. While I was holding my four year old son, he managed to unclip the back of my dress and give the whole church a show. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 427

You deserved it 4 848

Boozy wake

By Anonymous - 28/04/2022 23:00 - United Kingdom - Gloucester

Today, it was my stepdad's funeral. Everything was great, until people got drunk, kicked off, and the police got called. FML

I agree, your life sucks 744

You deserved it 86

By Anonymous - 06/07/2011 23:38 - United States

Today, my family attended the funeral of an old family friend's baby, who died in childbirth. Afterwards, my husband went around snickering and quietly telling dead baby jokes to the other attendees. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 719

You deserved it 6 239

Have kid they said, it'll be great they said

By Anonymous - 24/09/2021 02:00

Today, my son is a real ass. My mother died and he literally only booked off half a day to attend his own grandmother's funeral, doesn’t plan to spend time with me after the burial, and since he booked it, all he has done is complain about the three meetings he’s going to miss that morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 446

You deserved it 256

The truth will out

By Anonymous - 04/06/2019 22:00

Today, despite all my begging for him to at least be civil, my son started his eulogy at his dad's funeral with the words, “Let me tell you a few things about the bastard in the coffin over there.” It only got worse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 438

You deserved it 689

With friends like these…

By MaySheRestinPeace - 06/03/2020 15:00

Today, a friend asked me to cover his shift at work because his grandmother died. Like any decent friend, I obliged. Later, after leaving, I walked by a bar and saw him inside, laughing and doing shots with all of our friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 157

You deserved it 153

Not now

By Anonymous - 25/02/2013 23:00 - United States - Marlton

Today, at my mother's funeral, as everyone was around her casket for the viewing, my 5-year-old son in cluelessness of what was going on shouted, "Grandma is more fun when she isn't sleeping." Everyone cried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 512

You deserved it 3 978

By knobbed - 27/01/2014 23:09 - United Kingdom - Milton Keynes

Today, I got a black eye while trying to break up a fight caused by some complete bastard making a "yo momma" joke at the funeral of my best friend's mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 922

You deserved it 4 883

Ajwc101 24

Sunday 24 June 2012 3:22

Who attends a funeral drunk?! I feel so bad for the widow. F her life.

xoxokelsey11 5

Sunday 24 June 2012 3:22

I'm imagining a 20 year old groping a 90 year old...

Comments

CorporalDunn 4

Sunday 24 June 2012 4:32

Drunk at a funeral? That is dead disrespectful.

Dixbfloppin 11

Sunday 24 June 2012 4:32

It wasn't a baby who died, so sure, go ahead.

perdix 29

Sunday 24 June 2012 4:35

I thought everywhere in the world besides the US went metric. Didn't you come within 2.54* centimeters of killing your drunk son? *exactly.

unknown_user5566 26

Sunday 24 June 2012 5:01

"One inch" is easier to type than "2.54 centimeters".

Dracoboxer357 35

Sunday 24 June 2012 5:11

42- The preciseness of exactly 2.54 centimeters is a little scarier to me in the sense that it is a definite, certain, non negotiable point of death for OP's son. An inch sounds subjective and exaggerated, with some wiggle room for forgiveness. Just saying. ;) *Tease!*

perdix 29

Sunday 24 June 2012 5:12

Since it's a figure of speech, I guess I could accept "a centimeter" or even "a millimeter" to indicate a very small distance ("a micron" would be too hyperbolic).

Ray_of_midnight 22

Sunday 24 June 2012 18:52

Things like inches and pounds are still used as informal units of measure lots of places. My mom was from Germany, and in Germany into the 1970s people were still referring to "ein Pfund" (one pound) for things like buying meat at the butcher's. "Ein Pfund" was half a kilogram, or 1.1 pounds in U.S. measure. There are also exceptions to EU-mandated metrication. The U.K. still measures road distances in miles and speed limits in mph, and beer in Imperial pints, IIRC.