Today, my sister gave my laptop away and dumped a pile of her hamster's turds on my bed. All of this because I flushed the toilet while she was in the shower last night. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I insulted my younger sister's hamster. She then smashed me with a stool. FML
Today, my little sister was in charge of doing the vacuuming, when she decided our hamster had "dust on his back". FML
Today, my house was broken into. Nothing was stolen, but my laptop had feces smeared all over it. FML
Today, my little sister got mad at me because I wouldn't let her read my IM conversation. I took a nap and when I woke up, my laptop was gone. She took it on a trip to her grandparents' house, six hours away. Nude pictures of me and my paper due tomorrow are on the laptop. FML
Today, my sister's kitten walked away from his litter box, jumped onto the table, looked me dead in the eyes, then peed directly onto my laptop. FML
Today, my little sister took a dump in our bath tub right before we were leaving for soccer practice. When my mom found it, she blamed it on me, then made me pick it up with my bare hands. FML
Today, my sister brought her class hamster home from school. Somehow it escaped from its cage, and ran into my room. My boyfriend, thinking it was a mouse, stomped on it. I'm stuck cleaning hamster guts from my carpet, and have to explain to a kindergarten class what happened to their pet. FML
Today, my family came back from holiday to discover that my little sister had messed with the cat flap before we left. Several stray cats were able to come in, but were unable to get out, and left shit in various areas around the house. FML
Today, I accidentally left my sister's hamster's cage open and it escaped. My dad recently put mouse traps down. Guess where I found her. FML
Today, I dropped my keys in the toilet. While in the kitchen looking for something to fish them out with, I heard a door slam. My sister had to use the bathroom and didn’t see my keys in the toilet before sitting down. Lucky me, I caught her just as she was about to flush. FML
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Top comments
Omfgitsmia 15
Sell her on the black market and call it even
notjanedoe 27
Your sister is nuts. What are your parents saying about this?
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Comments (173)
Vinnie500 14
So what you do is, lock up all your valuables, then take her laptop, phone, all her jewelry, her favorite clothes and take them downtown and give them away to the neediest looking homeless people you can find. Then act shocked when she finds out it is missing.
Vickyh46 8
Haha, I'm so with you on this!
anitah_fml 5
You wouldn't even need to give it away. Just hide it, tell her you gave it away and it's not coming back until the OP has his laptop and new bedding.
qr_fml 21
First off, why did u flush the toilet while your sister is taking a shower? Are u a guy or a girl op?
CharresBarkrey 16
Because only one gender flushes the toilet? I don't see where you're going with this.
MaydayParadexx 18
Lol what a bitch
lincolnick4 19
what the hell is wrong with her? no doubt the water may have gotten hot when you flushed, but this is too much...
siddin 6
file charges with police
sarahadlina 14
That's really childish of her..
mattlw 25
Go to your nearest bait and tackle store. Buy two buckets of live crickets. When she gets in the shower next time, empty one of them in her bed, then run in the bathroom and dump the other bucket over the top of the shower curtain. Less than $20.00, and twice the shock value. As an added bonus grab her towel and clothes so she has to run through the house naked. Extra embarrassment. That will show her never to mess with a master mind.
Tiger9099 11
With camera for blackmail purposes in the future possibly.
sarahadlina 14
U went into the bathroom while she was showering? Whoa.
xkncas 8
Oh no, a girl who can't imagine someone having to go to the bathroom while showering. Wait til you have a one-bathroom house or apartment and your husband can't hold it anymore when you've been in there way too long. Also: depending on the age of the house, even using a bathroom that is closer to the water lines and heater than a bathroom further away can cause temperature fluctuations. Either way: this guys sister is a bitch for reacting like this. You have to agree or you don't deserve a significant other either.
sikunt89_fml 16
I'd use something to smush the poo into her bed and pillows, then I'd break everything in her room nd set her hamster free
yrue82 7
Find some big dog turds and put it on her bed!