Today, my siblings overpowered me and duct taped me to a chair. Helpless, I had to wait until my dad got home so he could help me. Instead, the first thing he did was reach for his camera to take a picture. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my brother and his friend ambushed me, tied me to a chair, and put a sock in my mouth. My mom found me 10 minutes later, took the sock out, and asked, "Why are you tied to a chair?" I told her what happened. She looked at me, laughed, stuffed the sock back in my mouth, and left. FML
Today, for the second time in my life, I fell and got stuck between my wall and my bed wrapped in a blanket, mad. Instead of helping me, my brother just took videos. FML
Today, during a game of manhunt, my brother and his friends thought it would be funny to tie me to a telelphone pole with my very own multicolored jumprope from when I was younger. They left me there. My mom drove by, stared and then laughed, She kept driving. FML
Today, after a sleepless night, I fell asleep at my work desk. When I awoke, I found my co-workers had duct taped me to my chair. I was yelling at them to untape me, when our boss came in, scolded me for fucking about on the job, and left without saying a word to my colleagues. FML
Today, my coworkers were bored. To solve this, they taped me to a chair and tried tickling me to death. My boss joined in. FML
Today, one of my kids thought it would be funny to superglue me to my armchair while I was asleep, except they’re idiots who used way too much. I am now fused to the cushions and had to call an ambulance. FML
Today, I walked in on my brother performing voodoo on a doll with my picture taped to its face. FML
Today, after a night of heavy drinking, I woke up handcuffed to my bed. My friends who are responsible for this think it's hilarious and claimed not to remember where they put the keys. They took pictures, then left. FML
Today, my dad has discovered selfies and my mom has discovered taking pictures of food. Now I'm at a restaurant, suffering through it all and not being able to eat anything until my mom has taken pictures of it. FML
Today, my dad forced me to take part in a pathetic act of revenge against our neighbors, who keep parking their 4x4 in front of our house. He made me stand watch while he kept trying to slash their tires. An hour later, we were waiting for my mom to bail us out of jail. FML
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Top comments
brainonska08 0
that ones going in the family photo album. :)
fuzzyporcupine 0
haha I would have too :D
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Comments (84)
jocelyng_fml 0
I would have done the same thing!
parapeople 5
And the first thing OP did was reach for his computer and write an FML about it.
rawrimadinosour 0
Ha Ha I did that once to my little brother he deserved it though he was behaving bad!
raisonbread 0
that is pretty funny!
jessxoxo28 5
it'll make a good memory... for your siblings and your father :D
blonde_headed 10
come on, you know if you would have walked in on your dad duct taped to a chair you totally would have taken a picture.
b_nicole72095 0
phahah my sisters would so do this too me...thankfully they dont know where the duct tape is and im faster :)
benners 0
oh the irony
kingwalrus 0
Hey just get this straight I'm a guy. Krajjan I did have a pocketknife but my brother took it from me. nyrangers1022 it's hard to laygh about it when your mouth is covered by duck tape. I love my family even though I had to get free by myself thank god they left the house keys near the table.
shlee053 2
haha I'd do the same thing