Health: Today, my roommate told me that when he takes a shower he likes...

By Philip - 17/02/2017 16:00 - Australia

Today, my roommate told me that when he takes a shower he likes to swipe the bar of soap in between his butt cheeks, "like a credit card." I use that soap on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 866

You deserved it 1 654

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Same thing different taste

By Derp McShitstain - 16/09/2012 19:48 - United Kingdom - Saint Helens

Today, I was shopping with my boyfriend, when he suggested that I might want to buy a new loofah. When I asked why, he admitted he's been using it to scrub his ass crack for weeks. I use that loofah to wash my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 711

You deserved it 2 769

By Anonymous - 30/01/2017 23:00 - United Kingdom - Dukinfield

Today, I found out that boyfriend doesn't think he needs to wipe his ass after he shits if he's going straight in the shower because he can just "clean it up in there". We share a loofah. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 288

You deserved it 2 126

By arrrrggggghhhh - 04/03/2009 23:38 - United States

Today, I realized that my roommate has been using my loofah to clean our toilet. I've been cleaning myself with the shit of four college boys for the last six months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78 094

You deserved it 5 183

By Nasty - 30/08/2011 16:48 - United States

Today, after using the bar of soap in the shower to wash my face, I looked down and noticed it was covered in my husband's pubes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 317

You deserved it 11 573

By Anonymous - 25/04/2009 19:24 - United States

Today, I was in the shower and had just finished washing my face. When I put the soap down I noticed a curly, black hair stuck to it. Im blond. The only other person who uses that bathroom is my uncle. I just rubbed my uncle's pubic hair all over my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 834

You deserved it 9 156

Junk in the trunk

By NotSoClean - 21/07/2009 18:53 - United States

Today, I noticed that my very expensive facial cleanser was almost out. I had moved in with my boyfriend recently, and questioned him, telling him "You don't have to use so much to wash your face. That's a $70 bottle." To which he responded, "Oh, that nice-smelling stuff? Yeah, I use that on my junk." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 790

You deserved it 8 656

To the window, to the wall

By Kim - 17/07/2020 23:01

Today, I saw my boyfriend using a washcloth to clean his cock and sweaty balls. He told me he's been doing this for quite some time now. Guess who's been using the same washcloth to clean her face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 566

You deserved it 410

Ouch

By Jackmeister - 03/11/2018 03:00

Today, I jacked off in the shower using soap with scrubbing beads in it. My penis is so chaffed, it hurts to put on pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 348

You deserved it 7 339

By SinkyBalls - 30/08/2011 03:56 - Canada

Today, I found out my roommate thinks the sink is an appropriate place to wash his junk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 685

You deserved it 2 811

Soapy

By Anonymous - 10/11/2022 00:00

Today, like every morning, I washed my mouthguard with bar soap. Tonight, though, I realized I hadn’t rinsed as well as I should have, there's soap between my teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 261

You deserved it 655

great_nate 26

Friday 17 February 2017 4:28

You share the soap?

tin_cup 27

Friday 17 February 2017 4:11

A clean bum is a happy bum

Comments

kayra2020 1

Tuesday 4 April 2017 12:01

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

mrfranchize 13

Wednesday 13 November 2019 14:55

Exactly why I use liquid soap. Can’t trust a mofo these days.

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The Top

Today, I found out my girlfriend has been cheating on me. When I told my sister, she just smiled, held up a closed fist, and said "Look at the number of fucks I give!" She then raised a finger, said "Oops. Finger spasm!" then lowered it again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 608

You deserved it 5 178

Today, as my husband normally initiates sex and sometimes I want to but always chicken out, I was feeling brave and did so. After he came, he continued working on me and I farted. I embarrassingly apologized and he said it was ok and kept going. I then continued to fart, and I had to stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 388

You deserved it 277

The Top

Today, I found out that my parents used all of the college money I have been saving up for 8 years to buy a beach house. The reason they waited until now to tell me? A tree fell on it, and they need more money for repairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 368

You deserved it 2 493

Today, I booked my car in for a service, with the intention of taking the courtesy bus to work. I got there at 8:45am, and the receptionist told me the courtesy bus was 10 minutes away. Work is 1.5km away, so I told my boss that I might be a couple of minutes late. Fifty minutes later, the bus came. I should've walked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 433

You deserved it 138

Today, my dad told me that I'm a weak and negative person because I suffer from depression and anxiety, then he told me to just snap out of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 672

You deserved it 225

Today, nine weeks after giving birth, my husband and I finally tried to have sex since a friend was watching the baby. Not only could I not get wet due to hormones, but as soon as he got back from buying lube, his drunk brother called needing a ride from the bar. No sex for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 166

You deserved it 307

Today, good news! The guitar I have been saving up for, for 5 months, finally arrived. It came inside a beautiful black and white case, and impossible to get into without the key. They didn't pack the key. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 271

You deserved it 2 915

Today, I was renovating the house, and my girlfriend asked, "Do you use electrical tape on electrical stuff?" Not knowing where she was going with this, I just gave her a puzzled look. She continued by saying, "Because it's not like people use duck tape on ducks." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 600

You deserved it 3 306