Today, my parents kicked me out of the house because they were having a party. They gave me twenty bucks to go see a movie. Well, the movie ended pretty quick, but the trauma of seeing my parents in a swingers' orgy will take some time getting over. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I came home to an orgy in my room. It appears that my parents have been renting our house out to porn studios. FML
Today, my parents and I went to the movies for my mom's birthday. After the movie, my mom and dad got into a fight, and left me at the movies. My cell phone was dead, and my house was about 12 miles away. They finally came and picked me up, hours later. FML
Today, I was watching a movie with my parents when a sex scene came on. As if that wasn't awkward enough, they started making out on the couch behind me. FML
Today, I was leaving to go over to a friend's and my parents suddenly ask if I'm gay. I reply that no, I'm bisexual. My mom then asks if I've ever made out with someone of the same sex and I say yes. She turns to my dad and says 'I told you so. You owe me $20'. My parents bet on my sexuality. FML
Today, I found out that the day I moved out of my parents' house, they invited my whole family over and had a party to celebrate the fact that I was gone. FML
Today, I left the house to get groceries. My parents asked me where I was going and how long I would be gone for. Thinking they were just being inquisitive parents, I ignored them. I got home 20 minutes later to them having sex. FML
Today, I was at a bar with my friends for my 19th birthday when I saw my dad grinding some chick that was not my mom. I confronted him and told him I was telling mom. He then pointed across the bar to my mom with another man. I just found out my parents are swingers. FML
Today, I was very sick, and my boyfriend was taking care of me at his parents' house. I was laying on the couch, innocently watching a movie while he rubbed my feet, when his stepmother came home from work. She freaked out, accused us of having it off on her couch, and kicked me out. FML
Today, my parents started fighting at a restaurant. Embarrassed, I went to the restroom to get away and stayed in there for about 15 minutes, knowing how long their fights can last. When I came back, they were gone. They'd ditched me, and left me to walk several miles back home. FML
Today, I’ve had to listen to my parents discovering that they were both cheating on each other. As I left, they were screaming at each other. When I got home, not only had they calmed down, they were openly discussing whether their other partners might be interested in foursomes or swinging. Ew. FML
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Top comments
silverhuntress 4
WTF!!!!! Wow... I'm so sorry that you had to see that...
turtlemanz 8
You decided to swing by at the wrong moment
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Comments (165)
weveallbeenthere 30
you were stupid enough to go back home after the movie. YDI. since when do parents give you money just to entertain you. obviously they wanted you out for a while.
Peachy2392 26
In no way does OP deserve it.
2dog 15
Um.... A movie can last like 2-3 hours they might have thought the party would be over or finishing at least. Butt found something else finishing ;)
BTF989 20
Even if he is at fault, no one deserves to walk into a room and see their parent's having an orgy. Since he didn't know that would happen and had to suffer witnessing that, **** his life.
laylarose1396 7
Dude your f*cling retarded.
speakersboom 19
so they weren't supposed to go back to where they live? "night guys, gonna go sleep in my tempurpedic movie seat. "
itwasalongnight 10
Then the parents SHOULD have told OP how long to be gone for! Or to spend the night at a friend's house. Totally not OP's fault
fucMyLifeSoHard 18
12- They only have OP $20. The ticket and popcorn probably cost that much, so what else was OP supposed to do? Wander the streets? If I went to see a movie, I would go back home after it was over.
SpicyDuck 22
I think there was a hinted back story to the FML like maybe OP didn't have friends or anything else to do so just came home..
trueblue170 13
"why god", indeed.
walkingspastic 22
I wish I could hear what your parents had to say for themselves!
Mortoli 30
"well son this is why we kicked you out and sent you to the movies without inviting. should have picked a longer movie." lol or something along those lines.
perdix 29
If they bribed you to get out of the house, what made you go inside while the guests were still there? You seem to not grasp the concept of graft and payola. Sorry you had to see you mom get DP'ed while your dad tossed some other lady's salad:(
chocolatefrog28 29
You poor individual, I'm so sorry you had to see that. Try to avoid playgrounds for a while yet, the swing set may set off a traumatic break in your brain.
Paco_el_Taco 17
How about no.
kjack49044 18
I don't...quite...think that was the point.
RedPillSucks 31
Ah yes, the group grope medical care alternative to ObamaCare. In this case, you actually want to be ******.
Girlie7 11
Atleast it was memorable....
tjw1616 21
lol you thought the "party" would be over in a couple of hours? but wow, that'll certainly be hard for them to explain, sorry op, it'll be awhile before your eyes can unsee that!