By Cian_1 - 25/11/2013 11:22 - United Kingdom - Cholsey

Today, I was quite drunk so I decided to take a piss kneeling down, so I wouldn't miss. I dropped the toilet seat on my little soldier. FML
I agree, your life sucks 38 071
You deserved it 29 479

Cian_1 tells us more.

What else am I to call something that keeps saluting me? ;D


I read it as "little sister" at first, and I was majorly confused.

Who the hell would call it a "little soldier" to begin with?! He might as well call it "Princess Sofia" and be done with it.

RIP Young Warrior. You saw many things in your 'short,' yet decisive life. I'll never forget the time five years ago. Your very first mission as a soldier. You entered your first cave, wrecking havoc. The bullets fired in the cave left shells of disappoint to many young egglings. Many lives never saw the light of day...but for the one that hatched and survived, life was now anew. You ended many but started one. You were a hero, who is now: deceased. RIP LITTLE SOLDIER LONG JOHN.

RpiesSPIES 27

What? So he'd be a woman-beater?! CRUEL!!!

Well, If OP called it a "Major- General" he would have been taking a Pirates of Piss- ance.

CallMeMcFeelii 13

I call my extended member my little soldier from time to time. I mean, he's been through hell and back. We went to 'Nam together fighting off Charlie's left and right. We never let them close in on us. Then came the revolutionary war, yes it came after Vietnam. Those damn redcoats were flowing out by the dozen! But we held our ground, not letting them push us out, we thrusted them back to the dark lands they came from! With honor we fight, will you have my back? By the cold dark night, we will never look back.

I didn't even call it that. Cheeky bit of word changing by the mods! :P

What else am I to call something that keeps saluting me? ;D

Now remember, it's not the size of the soldier, it's how well he works his gun.

I feel like ydi for calling your penis "little soldier"

cgart96 15

It didn't die, it's just wounded.

You can't be using logic on a drunk person.

martin8337 35

Make sure that the seat is down or else a splash.

kristabelli 19

I can't understand all the "YDI" votes here. NOBODY deserves that! (Except maybe a child rapist or something.)

erm 54, sorry but when a man gets so drunk he accidentally drops a toilet seat on his own dick....yes he deserves it.

SkyGuy32 17

How does getting drunk mean you deserve to have a toilet seat slam down on your willy? Is getting drunk so sinful that doing so calls for an excruciating punishment?

89- No, but getting drunk means you except the consequences of having impared judgement. Whatever happens during that time is kinda the subject's fault.

kristabelli 19

Thank you 89, exactly. Although I do agree with 90... but I still wouldn't say he deserved it. It sounds brutal. He was even trying to be considerate and not pee on the floor. :)

This sounds like something out of a horrible romantic comedy

Fitzinator1995 13
yoursucklives 36

i don't quite get how you thought of kneeling down before sitting down, but what ever floats your boat!

Probably because pissing while sitting down is difficult if the little soldier is standing up in attention!

Because kneeling is more manly than sitting.

Ironic, 79, that he can now sing for the Vienna boys choir.

Alcohol + Decision making = Hilariously painful situations. If anyone had seen this when it happened they would have been pissing themselves laughing.

U must be tall to kneel and piss. Plus, how did the seat fall? Poor you OP.