Today, my neighbor showed me footage of my 7-year-old son spraying his beloved rose garden with weed killer. The whole garden is dead as fuck, and I'm now being taken to small claims court. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, in court, I was called a "pompous little gnome" by the woman I was there suing, for destroying my front garden with weed killer. The judge agreed with her and threw the case out for lack of evidence it was actually her that destroyed my garden. FML
Today, the tenants I kicked out of the house I just bought took the entire garden and flowers with them. I was already listing the place as a rental with a "backyard oasis" and now it's nothing but dirt. The courts refuse to help me. FML
Today, my neighbour is suing me because she got stung in the face by a wasp, a wasp that came from my garden into hers and stung her, therefore it must be my fault. FML
Today, my crazy neighbor screamed at me from her porch for walking "too close" to her plants. I was on the sidewalk. She sprayed me with her hose anyway. FML
Today, tired of people letting their dogs crap in my yard, I sprinkled an assortment of crushed peppers around my lawn as a deterrent. One dog went to do its business and had some sort of allergic reaction. Now its bitchy owner is threatening to sue me, and tried to have her daughter kick my ass. FML
Today, my neighbor came over to borrow my lawnmower. As I have previously loaned it to him and he returned it broken, I refused. He then promptly ate the strawberries off my daughter's small strawberry plant and stormed off. FML
Today, I left outside a bowl of fine herbs I had painstakingly grown from seeds, so they could get some sun. What did they get instead? My upstairs neighbor's filthy soapy water from washing her balcony. Three quarters of the seedlings are now dead. FML
Today, I was lying in a lawn chair next to my wooden fence when a yellow liquid started spraying me. The neighbor's douchebag son was peeing through the small hole in the fence and soaked me. FML
Today, my neighbor's son siphoned the fuel out of my lawn mower and put it in his car. What he didn't realize is that the fuel mixture I use in my lawn mower would ruin his car engine. His dad says it's my fault and actually insists I should pay his pissant son's repair bill. FML
Today, my 6-year-old son pooped in the back yard and used a stick to throw it over the fence into my neighbor's yard. FML
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Top comments
BI4ze 17
How would a 7 year old get access to weed killer?
smokecloud_ 37
He's 7. He should know right from wrong and to stay out of other people's property. Rose gardens aren't cheap and the neighbor probably spent a lot of time on it. I'd be pissed too, 7 year old or not.
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Comments (87)
PSYqualiac 17
Everyone is acting like the kid knew what the stuff was and intentionally killed the rose garden... The kid probably thought it was plant food because they saw their parents spray it on weeds. They are 7. That's second or third grade at the oldest. Kids don't know what they are doing half the time at that age. The fault lies on OP for having weed killer, which is toxic to humans, laying around where their kid could reach it.
mine___turtles10 13
He better keep his ass tight in the prison
mine___turtles10 13
F
Retaheki 27
@136 You were once a "piece of shit that wasted money," you know.
lholifield23 12
You should've raised him better than that
donutcallmethat 16
OP your kid shouldn't have even been in the neighbor's yard. YDI strike one. Yes, seven year olds should completely understand the concept of private property, unless they are developmentally stunted, which you did not mention. Your kid was playing with weed killer. Where were you? If that had been rat poison, your kid might be dead. YDI strike two. You owe your neighbor the cost of fully grown rose bushes identical to the ones that were killed, and whatever it costs to clean up the yard so the roses can grow again. That might be thousands of dollars. I suggest you call your home insurance company, as the liability coverage might pay out. Whatever you do, you really must teach your child to respect personal property. Seven is way too old to be doing that sort of thing.
McNarsty97 15
*cough* abortion *cough*. Says Captain Hindsight
Glasshoney 9
Why is your weed killer low enough for your SEVEN YO to reach?!! Lock that stuff up! It's called being a responsible parent. Yeah my 2 kids are still alive and made it to their teens....because we locked up chemicals, etc. WTF???
vetisthewicked 9
keep your crotch fruit leashed next time you inconsiderate breeder
fantasyworld 39
YDI for letting your kid do that.