Miscellaneous: Today, my mother insisted I thoroughly water all the plants in...

By omfgfmlife - 05/07/2011 14:32 - United States

Today, my mother insisted I thoroughly water all the plants in and around my house before some people turned up. This would be fine except 90% of them are fake. She is convinced it will make them look "realer." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 302

You deserved it 3 065

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Same thing different taste

By thanksmom - 22/12/2014 23:15 - United States - Watertown

Today, my mother brought over some early Christmas presents for me and the kids. The kid's presents were fine, mine however consisted of many yard accessories, including solar lights. I live in an apartment building with no yard. Her response? "Buy a potted plant and shove them in there." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 057

You deserved it 2 636

By IlikeGreenPlants - 26/11/2009 02:41 - United States

Today, I found out that the plant in my kitchen that I have been watering for almost 2 years is fake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 911

You deserved it 54 674

By Emyka - 21/09/2016 10:51 - Austria

Today, at my job of 2 months, I'd taken it upon myself to water the plants around the office every day since they all looked a little sad. My boss then asked why so many of the fake plants were getting mouldy. My co-workers had watched me water plastic plants for 2 months and nobody bothered to tell me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 340

You deserved it 6 686

Thanks, mom

By Anonymous - 24/10/2020 11:03 - United States - Kenton

Today, my mom saw me holding a plant and told me to walk around with it, to replace all of the oxygen I waste. FML

I agree, your life sucks 895

You deserved it 213

Green fingers

By Claire - 11/02/2024 15:00 - United Kingdom - Edinburgh

Today, it's been a few weeks since I took up gardening to relax, caring for my plants, and they finally started blooming. Excitedly, I posted a picture online, only to have a friend tell me that my "beautiful flowers" are actually weeds. Apparently, I have a talent for cultivating the unwanted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 405

You deserved it 123

By gazza - 26/05/2012 20:41 - United Kingdom - Guildford

Today, in the middle of a localised drought, and an accompanying hosepipe ban, my mother has decided that she still needs to water her lawn. To balance out the water usage, she's placed a complete ban on the use of our shower until the weather lets up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 441

You deserved it 1 749

Green fingers

By Anonymous - 30/01/2023 07:30

Today, my friends and family staged an intervention for me. Of course, I assumed it was a result of my raging alcoholism. Nope. It was due to my obsession with buying plants. They were deadly serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 753

You deserved it 168

Pica?

By Anonymous - 21/06/2021 17:59

Today, my mom ate some flowers without knowing if they were safe. Turns out they are slightly poisonous and she had an upset stomach, but she will be fine. Her excuse? "I didn't know it had poison." I had to explain that's exactly why you don't eat plants you don't know are poisonous or not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 888

You deserved it 91

By Ouchhh - 25/05/2010 06:54 - United States

Today, I leaned back and bumped into one of my mom's plants in the window. The good thing was that I caught it before it fell and shattered. The bad thing was that my mom likes to keep cactii in the window. I can still feel thorns I haven't managed to pluck out yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 901

You deserved it 4 545

Thanks, I hate this

By creepingjennie - 05/01/2022 14:01

Today, I discovered that I'm allergic to the flowering plant my passive-aggressive mother gave me for Christmas. I take two different antihistamines daily for my numerous allergies all year round, and my mother knows this is why I don't have house plants. She said, "You better not get rid of it!" I think she hates me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 118

You deserved it 143

xxsarahfxx 6

Tuesday 5 July 2011 19:03

Always listen to your mother ! :)

FUGYU 2

Tuesday 5 July 2011 19:04

Just be lucky you didn't pick up her genetics, hopefully.

Comments

kduubb 7

Tuesday 5 July 2011 19:58

mom's kno best :p

Babalu722 3

Tuesday 5 July 2011 20:02

Americans..

HahaYDI 0

Tuesday 5 July 2011 20:10

...have huge penises.

truffleshuffle22 0

Wednesday 6 July 2011 2:56

so true

zombiebud 5

Tuesday 5 July 2011 20:06

that is crazy hahahaha

tjmsc83 0

Tuesday 5 July 2011 20:15

haha smart

shannon1029 4

Tuesday 5 July 2011 20:16

Water her to make her look more real and see how she likes it.

starr_muffin 0

Tuesday 5 July 2011 20:25

lol that's to funny!

spencerchu 0

Tuesday 5 July 2011 20:35

then just water the 10%

pamelax3 6

Tuesday 5 July 2011 20:44

I lol'd.

LuukBaas 0

Tuesday 5 July 2011 20:42

what if my sister watered het boobs, will that make them look realer?

UnderWaterComix 0

Tuesday 5 July 2011 20:55

642- So by your logic, the word "irregardless" is a proper word.

NYkid2K8 5

Tuesday 5 July 2011 21:03

Just because they're fake doesn't mean they should be treated differently.

BaconDave 12

Tuesday 5 July 2011 23:19

Just like boobs

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The Top

Today, I found out that my parents have been lying about my birthday. Now it makes sense how they "lost the birth certificate" or how many photos of me as a baby are dated before I was actually supposed to be born, because "the camera must've glitched, we must've confused the date we wrote in the back of that card." FML

I agree, your life sucks 383

You deserved it 59

Today, I'm 37 years-old. I work full time and make 20 dollars an hour. I live with my parents. I still cannot afford to move out and I'm completely broke. I keep overspending because I get anxious because I feel like a failure. I'm addicted to sugar and eat a pint of ice cream a day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 216

You deserved it 535

The Top

Today, I approached a cute girl at a club, when she started barking at me like a rabid dog. Thinking she might be mentally unhinged, I left, only to see the same girl laughing her ass off with her friends minutes later. When I went back over, her friends started barking at me too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 705

You deserved it 6 819

Today, I got told I am not a good fit for a company because I'm disabled. But that's OK, I can volunteer for the same role, as I don't really need to work anyway, because I'm disabled apparently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 630

You deserved it 382

Today, my mom tried to ground me, even though I moved into my own flat to escape her. I told her 'my flat, my rules' so she tried to confiscate my Xbox because 'she’s the boss of me.' The look on her face as the cops took her away was worth the shouting match we’ll have when she makes bail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 864

You deserved it 163

Today, my little sister asked what masturbation was. We were having a family dinner with my grandparents. My mother then said, "Why don't you ask your brother? He is a pro." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 499

You deserved it 6 741

Today, I biked to the lake. And by "to" I mean "into". With my phone in my jacket and my laptop in my backpack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 064

You deserved it 4 673

Today, I was looking after my 9 year-old nephew when I let him play some web games on my MacBook. A few hours later, I found out I'd underestimated his tech skills, as he'd changed all my contacts to "Mr. Spongebob Squarepants." Thanks to iCloud, all contacts on all my devices were changed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 924

You deserved it 527

Same thing different taste

Thanks, mom

Green fingers

Green fingers

Pica?

Thanks, I hate this

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