Today, my mother has taken her drug paranoia to a new level. She threw away an open but nearly full bag of dried mint because she's sure I emptied and refilled the bag with marijuana to hide it from her. She then tried to ground me in my own house in front of my wife and daughter. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my mom found my weed stash and went berserk, grounding me and saying she's going to have my bedroom door removed. Less than an hour later, I found her laughing and smoking the same stash with my dad in the backyard. FML
Today, I found my mom throwing my very expensive and important medication down the toilet. She thought I was doing drugs. FML
Today, I baked some brownies and after my mom ate one, I joked that I put weed in them. Turns out the placebo effect's a bitch, because she quickly started acting high as a kite. One bitch fit later, the brownies are in the trash and I'm grounded until I tell her where I bought the "weed". FML
Today, I came from a 12-hour shift to find my clothes and stuff outside, and the locks changed. I called my mom to let me in and she told me, “Hell the fuck no, I’m not having a drug addicted junkie up in my house! You’re no longer my daughter!” and hung up. Apparently, she found my stash of weed. FML
Today, my mom accused me of smoking weed. Truth is, I'd just ripped the quietest and weirdest smelling fart of my life. She wouldn't believe me, accused me of making stupid excuses up, and grounded me. FML
Today, I confronted my daughter about the various drug-associated items I found in her room. She then confronted me about going in her room and invading her privacy, to the point where I forgot the main issue and apologised to her. I just got outsmarted by a teenage pothead. FML
Today, my psycho mom walked in while I was chilling and having fun with some friends. She kicked them out and now wants to drug test me, because, "Nobody's that happy without drugs." FML
Today, my mom told me she was getting tired of the smell of marijuana in the house. So I confessed and told her I'll never bring it home again. She was talking about my neighbors. FML
Today, my mom called me a druggie after she found out I smoked weed once. She's now threatening to sell my car, tell my boss, and ban me from seeing my fiancée. I'm 24. FML
Today, my thieving, layabout stepmom planted weed in my bedroom and showed my dad. Well, maybe I'm jumping to conclusions here, but her smirk and telling me later that I shouldn't fuck with her again seems conclusive to me. Goodbye freedom. FML
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Top comments
ThrottleJockey 35
Your mother needs professional help.
Allie614032 34
At this point, I'd take her to a doctor. It may not be a psychological issue so much as an actual brain illness. I really hope you're right and she's just paranoid. :)
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Comments (22)
dwight7476 11
She tripping you are a adult the road or life you choose is your decision
Chazzster 29
In a way I have a degree of sympathy for OP’s Mom. Obviously she is just not coping with the world today and thinks it’s because everybody is on drugs. Back in the 1980’s there were a lot of anti-drug commercials on TV and a lot of TV dramas made drug use a big component of the downfall of various characters. OP’s Mom probably grew up with that. Add to that perhaps a hint of dementia and an inability to cope with today’s world and this is what you get. OP, it’s time Mom learned the meaning of boundaries and that your home is not her domain regardless of what she may think or suspect. If she cannot respect that, she cannot come over - and change the locks if you think she has a key.
Mal2003 17
tldr sum it up in 20 words or less
julfunky 29
Or read the whopping two whole paragraphs like an adult and quit complaining.
ThrottleJockey 35
Sounds like your mom needs a toke and chill.
jkjorn 16
Just say no.. to your mother ever being in your house again.