Today, my mother came home from the grocery store with a 20kg bag of carrots, and nothing else. She then informed me that, for as long as my girlfriend and I keep 'going at it like rabbits', she would be feeding me like one. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend named my penis "little baby carrot." FML
Today, when I got home from work exhausted and literally ready to fall over, my mom had me carry several heavy bags of dog food for her. Yesterday, it was coals; before that it was horse feed and gas bottles. Before that, I'd just asked her to keep the hard, physical work to the weekends. FML
Today, my girlfriend accused me of being a feeder, saying that's why she's been putting on so much weight. When I said it might be because she eats at McDonald's everyday, and that I was willing to start cooking low-calorie foods for us, she hit me. Then she went to McDonald's. FML
Today, while discussing my vegetable garden, my father's new girlfriend announced that she loves vegetables in the bedroom. FML
Today, my mum was saying she needs to gain weight because she was underweight according to her doctor. She then said she's going to eat like me in order to gain more weight. FML
Today, my mom cooked her dog some potatoes, carrots, beef, rice and peas. She cooks better food for her dog than she will for our family. FML
Today, to keep me from "getting fatter", my roommate raided the kitchen. She ate everything from cookies and ice cream to deli meat. The only thing left in the house are vegetables. FML
Today, I asked my mom if she could include mashed potatoes and gravy with dinner. She then went on to yell at me about my "unhealthy eating habits" and how I've "gained a lot of weight in the past few months". I'm pregnant. FML
Today, while my mom was out, my family agreed upon the assumption that she has a "shopping problem." I argued against it for quite a while, until she pulled up minutes later with a what seemed like a life-time supply of canned condensed milk. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house. I've been a vegetarian for 4 years, and his mother made lasagna with meat in it. After telling her I don't eat meat, my boyfriend's father says, "We know whose meat she does eat." My boyfriend, his mother, and I were standing right there. FML
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Top comments
Awahso 25
Okay, come on now. That's hilarious.
ICATiger 13
Tell her carrots make you horny.
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Comments (265)
chubby_choco 17
If your mom can hear it, you had it coming.
Skullie 6
LMFAO :) Sad thing is I would have taken the carrots bit the head off of one of them and said... Thanks mom we were a little hungry ******* like rabbits.
legit_shit15 2
Pahahahah go mom! that's epic.
JeSuisSortie09 4
time for takeout
thestoryofmylyf 20
Haha, sorry but thts hilarious
Mistymorning16 10
At least she didn't bring home rabbit pellets to feed you, or timothy hay. Carrots aren't that bad.
arsenicalhumor 30
if so, you deserve lettuce as well
bobak_can_ani 7
I'm a father and I loved it! Way to go mom:)
jrock9093 18
You'll have great eyesight ;)
iluvFMLs15 19
well reply back with "can you Please change rabbits to humans so that you can feed me like a human"