Today, my mom has forbidden me from drinking skim milk, because my sister is upset that I'm skinnier than her. The same sister who refuses to drink any other milk than 2% chocolate. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mom claimed that lactose intolerance is a "myth" and told me to drink my damn milk because it's good for my bones. FML
Today, my mom complained that I never do anything nice for her, so while out shopping I bought her favorite chocolate bar. When I got home, she screamed at me because she’s on a diet. FML
Today, my sister was concerned that her daughter (my niece) was sick, and hesitant to take her to the ER. I asked if she'd eaten something she shouldn't have, and she replied, "No, especially since we feed her the most healthy food we can." This was fine until I flipped out when she said, "We even give her raw milk so that she'll be strong." FML
Today, we ran out of milk and my 4 year-old son came up to me and asked if he could "milk" my wife's breasts for his cereal. Apparently, he thinks my wife doesn't love him and his sister is selfish for not sharing her milk. His sister is only one month old. FML
Today, my mother offered me some chocolate milk. I took a few gulps before I realized the label said it was raw unpasteurized milk. When I pointed this out to my mother, she asked me what pasteurization is. We might get sick because my mother is the most horrifically ignorant and out-of-touch person on earth. FML
Today, I threw a tantrum because my younger sister ate my chocolate. I'm almost 18. FML
Today, I was on the phone with my little sister as she explained that all these guys like her now that she's so skinny and beautiful. My mom must have overheard me tell my sister that at least I was a cuter child, because my mom laughed and said, "Yeah right, we had to buy you fat kid diapers." FML
Today, despite begging my parents to get food other than diet and weight loss stuff, they refused. I'm bullied for being skinny on a daily basis. FML
Today, my aunt said that it looked like I lost some weight. I was pleased with this, since I've been trying to lose some. My mom, for some reason, thought it was insulting. She pulled me to aside to assure me that I most definitely don't look any skinnier. FML
Today, I found out my mom intentionally puts extra butter and oil in the food she cooks for me because she wants me to be fatter than her. FML
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Top comments
abbttmc 12
The ****?
ovechkinisbeast 9
Hire a hit man?
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Comments (141)
simplysarcastics 26
Your mom is very unfair, why would she try to stop you from being healthy! Fight for you skim milk if you can.
ironik69 31
Cake forever? I'm sure that would get ol...awww who am I kidding? Cake forever could never get old!!!
33Chilidog 6
I'd still drink it and when she asks why there's always less and less act innocent
ladyLALAA 29
I see you're drinking 2%, is that because you think you're fat? You could be drinking whole if you wanted to...
anonymousguy1569_fml_fml 8
Tell her to jog on. Should help with all of the problems...
mattlw 25
I would say for you to start buying 2% chocolate milk and whole chocolate milk and swap the labels. Make her think she is drinking skim milk and you are drinking whole milk, and all the while wondering why she is still putting on weight.
Vanillanougat 14
Seems rather counter-productive, doesn't it....
rikacat 1
You know what they say, once you go chocolate you never go back
bReLiNg 18
My mom wouldn't me drink skim either :( she said she refuses to pay for piss and water.
rg350dx 29
Your mom might be a total nutjob but chocolate milk is the shit. Cept you drink whole not that 2% crap, but then you goto the gym and work it off.