Today, my mom has forbidden me from drinking skim milk, because my sister is upset that I'm skinnier than her. The same sister who refuses to drink any other milk than 2% chocolate. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mom claimed that lactose intolerance is a "myth" and told me to drink my damn milk because it's good for my bones. FML
Today, my mom complained that I never do anything nice for her, so while out shopping I bought her favorite chocolate bar. When I got home, she screamed at me because she’s on a diet. FML
Today, my sister was concerned that her daughter (my niece) was sick, and hesitant to take her to the ER. I asked if she'd eaten something she shouldn't have, and she replied, "No, especially since we feed her the most healthy food we can." This was fine until I flipped out when she said, "We even give her raw milk so that she'll be strong." FML
Today, we ran out of milk and my 4 year-old son came up to me and asked if he could "milk" my wife's breasts for his cereal. Apparently, he thinks my wife doesn't love him and his sister is selfish for not sharing her milk. His sister is only one month old. FML
Today, my mother offered me some chocolate milk. I took a few gulps before I realized the label said it was raw unpasteurized milk. When I pointed this out to my mother, she asked me what pasteurization is. We might get sick because my mother is the most horrifically ignorant and out-of-touch person on earth. FML
Today, I threw a tantrum because my younger sister ate my chocolate. I'm almost 18. FML
Today, I was on the phone with my little sister as she explained that all these guys like her now that she's so skinny and beautiful. My mom must have overheard me tell my sister that at least I was a cuter child, because my mom laughed and said, "Yeah right, we had to buy you fat kid diapers." FML
Today, despite begging my parents to get food other than diet and weight loss stuff, they refused. I'm bullied for being skinny on a daily basis. FML
Today, my aunt said that it looked like I lost some weight. I was pleased with this, since I've been trying to lose some. My mom, for some reason, thought it was insulting. She pulled me to aside to assure me that I most definitely don't look any skinnier. FML
Today, I found out my mom intentionally puts extra butter and oil in the food she cooks for me because she wants me to be fatter than her. FML
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Top comments
abbttmc 12
The ****?
ovechkinisbeast 9
Hire a hit man?
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Comments (141)
SilentScreamer 12
Put chocolate laxatives in her chocolate milk. She'll thin out.
TheCutestLizard 28
That's sick.
capslockisgood 19
Not if you eat the same cake over and over again.
NeinKittenz 20
...isn't that what everyone here does? No? Just me?
EmberEyes 16
Let me just say that your mom must be a bit stupid. I'm sorry if you take offense but she obviously needs to learn how to properly control your daughters habits.
ophel1a 7
good! ask her to buy you whole milk; in moderation, whole milk provides the most nutrients and good stuff for your body. unless someone in your family has cholesterol issues, there's really no reason to buy skim or 2% milk instead of whole. taste preferences aside, of course.
Busybeth98 16
What if you can work out a compromise? You can both have 1% strawberry milk!
Megan639 16
That's bullshit! Skim milk is delish!
Shadow_Phantom 26
Sounds terrible to me. Unhealthy food is just... bleh. As for the OP, yeah, that's bullshit. Maybe if her sister stopped chugging high fructose corn syrup she'd lose a few pounds.
Obey_StudBoii 23
That's just f&****g stupid. Your mom needs to get a grip and come back to reality.
NeinKittenz 20
Are your mom and sister cannibals? They're drinking the multi-nipples dangly thing holders milk! (Cow milk for the non imaginative)
EpicSquishii 21
We'd have gotten it without the extra help, thanks. Even though it was horridly written and unfunny, it wasn't too hard to follow.