Today, my mom called me screaming and cussing because she found pot in my room. I come home and my dad says, "I hid some pot in your room and I'm not letting you go to that concert if you rat me out." My dad is apparently a blackmailing 52-year-old stoner. FML
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Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, my mom found my weed stash and went berserk, grounding me and saying she's going to have my bedroom door removed. Less than an hour later, I found her laughing and smoking the same stash with my dad in the backyard. FML
Today, I tried to blackmail my dad by threatening to tell mom about the bong and weed he keeps hidden in the garage. Turns out she already knew about it and neither of them give a shit. Now I'm grounded until the new year. FML
Today, my mom called me a druggie after she found out I smoked weed once. She's now threatening to sell my car, tell my boss, and ban me from seeing my fiancée. I'm 24. FML
Today, I came home to my parents holding my marijuana. They told me that I had the stupidest hiding place ever, and that I was, "not only a pothead, but a dumbfuck pothead." FML
Today, my thieving, layabout stepmom planted weed in my bedroom and showed my dad. Well, maybe I'm jumping to conclusions here, but her smirk and telling me later that I shouldn't fuck with her again seems conclusive to me. Goodbye freedom. FML
Today, I came from a 12-hour shift to find my clothes and stuff outside, and the locks changed. I called my mom to let me in and she told me, “Hell the fuck no, I’m not having a drug addicted junkie up in my house! You’re no longer my daughter!” and hung up. Apparently, she found my stash of weed. FML
Today, my dad yelled at me for using legal marijuana to help treat my potentially terminal cancer, which is kind of hypocritical for the man who spent significant portions of my childhood in jail for selling cocaine to rich high school kids. FML
Today, my mom accused me of smoking weed. Truth is, I'd just ripped the quietest and weirdest smelling fart of my life. She wouldn't believe me, accused me of making stupid excuses up, and grounded me. FML
Today, my mother went through my bag and found what she thought was rolling papers. I was yelled at and called a stupid pothead with no future. They were facial blotting papers. FML
Today, a classmate's mother called my phone, threatening to have my dorm room raided for drugs. Why? She saw our text messages discussing where he would pick up the textbook I borrowed and thought it was the new "code name" for weed. FML
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Top comments
jkmartinjk 16
And here come the pot debates...
JocelynKaulitz 28
Hey, you can always rat him out after you go to the concert :)
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Comments (70)
brevolorio 5
Now its your turn to blackmail him into giving u 500 buck or u will snitch him to the cops
SqueakyChipmunk 22
SMOKE IT. Revenge!!!! Or put it in some food, like that one episode of Everybody Hates Chris. But find it first, obviously. After the concert. Wait, if you're in trouble for the weed, wouldn't your mom ground you and not let you go anyway? Tell her anyway. Either way, you're screwed.
b0ngs 7
or suggest a little family sesh time >:) or just get the dad baked out of his mind to get him back
b0ngs 7
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Your dad is irresponsible. First off he should have hid it somewhere else and second of all to all the people who say marijuana is bad, it really isn't that bad once in a while. Weed is natural however it wasn't meant to be smoked. Just because it's illegal people start freaking out. Do some research and then talk.
XtraEzeee 8
Do you know what else is natural? Tigers. But that doesn't make them safe.
XtraEzeee 8
Oh shit. I just took the bait. I'm sorry Baustigt, I've let you down. ;__;
j_cat187 20
Cool, you now have free pot.
aislincalum 5
I'm sorry, but this says a lot about your parents' marriage. My SO knows that I smoke, even though he doesn't, and that I plan to continue for as long as it is beneficial to me. I would never put anyone in danger, even our hypothetical future children, and even for something as small as a concert.
jazmineevc 0
You should turn it around and start blackmailing him.
rayyyyyy 2
**** the concert, I know I'd rather stay at home and watch the show when your mom finds out!
patrickalamo 48
Looser dad of the year, way to teach personal responsibility.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Op's dad is loose? Sounds about right.
DaSandman 9
rat him out, go to the concert when your mom is chewing him out, enjoy both the concert and your victory
leilaostara 1
Tell your mom and sneak out to the concert anyway. It's what I would do. ;)
xalba 9
I think if you tell your mom the truth you will end up going to the concert, your dad will be in so much shit he won't even notice your not home! Lol that will be funny though, guess what mom it belongs to dad! Haha look on his face will be priceless! Oh and mention that he was blackmailing you if you told her that it belongs to him :) have fun at the concert!