Intimacy: Today, my little sister asked what masturbation was. We were...

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By namhtor - 28/09/2009 19:20 - United States

Today, my little sister asked what masturbation was. We were having a family dinner with my grandparents. My mother then said, "Why don't you ask your brother? He is a pro." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 520

You deserved it 6 754

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 25/04/2009 04:13 - United States

Today, my 10 year old brother caught me masturbating and then said "Oh, so that's how you do it!". He then ran to his room and locked the door. I inadvertently taught my little brother how to masturbate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 539

You deserved it 64 358

The big reveal

By joe - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Easton

Today, I was teasing my 6-year-old sister about having a boyfriend. I asked her, "Did he take his shirt off?" She promptly said no. A few minutes later, she said, "But he did take his pants off." I then asked why. She said, "To show me his penis." FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 104

You deserved it 8 772

Play it cool

By Fraser - 08/03/2012 19:03 - Canada

Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 208

You deserved it 56 665

Caught red-handed

By caught - 09/01/2012 00:43 - United States

Today, I was bored and started touching myself watching TV. My mother walked into my bedroom with a phone in her hand and yelled, "Stop jacking off and talk to your grandmother." FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 339

You deserved it 36 304

By Perpetually F-ed. - 17/01/2009 14:25 - United States

Today, my younger brother and my parents were in my dorm room. When I wasn't looking, my brother opened the top drawer of my dresser (where I had a tube of half-used lube) and asked out loud: "What's Astroglide?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 376

You deserved it 9 333

Thanks mom

By Anonymous - 14/02/2021 14:01 - Colombia

Today, my mom decided it was a good idea to remind me about my non-existent sex life while all the family was having dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 050

You deserved it 112

By epistaxis - 29/01/2009 02:31 - Australia

Today, my nephew asked me how babies are made. I thought he'd had this chat with his mom, but I went in to it again. After a 20 minute 'discussion', he says "So what about the good stuff - get to the blowjobs and the lesbians." He's 11. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 736

You deserved it 3 961

By weirdedout - 24/05/2010 15:14 - United States

Today, while sitting at a red light, my mother asked, "Do you have any intimacy questions?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 676

You deserved it 5 252

By TappedAnts - 08/04/2016 01:45 - United States - Seabrook

Today, I went to a family reunion with my brother and my mother. She spent quite a while giving a glowing introduction for my brother to one of her cousins. Then, just before walking off, she jerked a thumb in my direction and said, "Oh, yeah, and that's his sister." FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 095

You deserved it 1 352

Caught in 404p

By Anonymous - 30/06/2009 04:49 - Canada

Today, my mom had a talk with me while my dad was out. She said to stop using her lotion for my masturbation sessions. I asked her how long did she know. She replied with, "Ever since we put up that camera in the living room for burglars, where you happen to watch your porn." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 321

You deserved it 51 580

omgyoukilledkeny 0

Monday 28 September 2009 23:28

I ****** LOVE UR MOM

rb7_Brady 0

Monday 28 September 2009 23:20

Lmao you must be very lonely

Comments

cody96 0

Sunday 3 January 2010 3:08

wait what is it???

Bridgeetyo 0

Tuesday 19 January 2010 9:58

You say your sister asked you, and your mum said ask your brother, it makes no sense she was already asking you?

OMGxChrisHansen 0

Tuesday 26 January 2010 8:59

I wish I was a pro :-/

adrifter 0

Sunday 18 April 2010 11:05

Ooooooooo. Burn.

rhoadsfan21 0

Tuesday 25 May 2010 19:26

your mom is watching you **********? thats some revese Oedipus stuff goin on there

darlenerazo 0

Friday 18 June 2010 21:32

that must really suck

CupAndSilverware 3

Tuesday 20 July 2010 6:45

hahaha I like this one

Zakuraa 0

Monday 26 July 2010 4:36

So many idiots picking on spelling mistakes and grammar without the slightest consideration, where has this world gone? I find it very ironic that some people use an iPod as an excuse to make a mistake while being an ass about someone else's minor mistake. /slight sadness and sad face.