Health: Today, my little brother gave me an open jar of peanut butter...

By stuckwithafamilyofcunts - 27/04/2013 20:23 - Spain - El Puig

Today, my little brother gave me an open jar of peanut butter for my birthday. I'm deathly allergic, and he knows it. Despite his maniacal grin and snickering, my parents said it was an innocent mistake, and grounded me for yelling at him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 638

You deserved it 3 675

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Same thing different taste

By djshahso - 26/02/2010 00:14 - United States

Today, I decided it would be funny to give my friend a peanut that had fallen on the floor. I hid it in his food, and started laughing when he ate it. It turns out he is allergic to peanuts. His family hates me now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 669

You deserved it 46 972

My kids would never lie

By au. - 06/01/2022 05:01

Today, one of the kids I was babysitting had a severe peanut allergy, and he looked me dead in the eye as he ate a peanut bar before I could stop him. His sister swore up and down that I made him eat it. Guess who the parents believed, even after I rushed him to the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 400

You deserved it 101

By peanutprobs - 31/10/2014 21:12 - Germany - Bochum

Today, my friend took our prank war too far when he secretly added peanuts to my food. I have a peanut allergy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 881

You deserved it 3 336

By vreenya - 08/04/2014 20:13 - Chile - Santiago

Today, my little brother was feeling like the god damned bratty douchebag he is and hurled a basketball at me. It missed, hit the wall, and rebounded straight into his face. He burst into tears, and I'm now grounded because my parents believed him when he said I threw it at him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 606

You deserved it 4 038

By Anonymous - 16/02/2011 05:14 - United States

Today, I had an asthma attack. I grabbed my inhaler and found peanut butter on it. I'm extremely allergic to peanuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 953

You deserved it 3 982

By Anonymous - 14/10/2011 14:41 - United States

Today, my dad yelled at me for buying chunky peanut butter. He wanted smooth. Apparently he's "allergic to peanuts." I had to explain to him why his argument made no sense. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 329

You deserved it 2 651

By birthdayboy - 19/06/2019 16:22

Today, it was my birthday. My only birthday present was a cake that my dad bought from Walmart. Well, it sure looked tasty. The only problem: it had nuts on it. Guess what I'm highly allergic too? At least my dad told me he'd "tell me how it tastes." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 906

You deserved it 147

Call the cops!

By epipen life - 10/03/2019 16:00 - United States

Today, my boyfriend’s mom fed me a new dish containing peanuts, knowing full well I’m severely allergic. According to her, her ancestors “cured” allergies by exposing the person to the allergen. I went into anaphylactic shock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 596

You deserved it 226

By Hunter Ferguson - 31/07/2018 13:00 - United States - Fort Washington

Today, I got grounded for 2 weeks for slapping my brother after he threw a baseball at my head and hit my shin with a bat. He’s in 9th grade and I'm in 8th. He got ice cream to "cheer him up". FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 804

You deserved it 250

By Anonymous - 16/11/2013 21:40 - United States - Blain

Today, my mom baked a cake for the whole family. One spent EpiPen later, I found out there were nuts in it, which I'm severely allergic to. My mom's defense was that she thought I'd have "gotten over" my allergy by now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 374

You deserved it 3 116

Ambient25 24

Sunday 28 April 2013 3:07

Just think, another few years and he'll progress to cutting your brake line....

hayyyyleyyyybaby_fml 14

Sunday 28 April 2013 3:09

Unless your brother is like, 2, your parents need a serious reality check on life...

Comments

Blackphoenix 9

Sunday 28 April 2013 4:22

Growing up the youngest of four boys I know your pain. My parents always took my brothers side. One time my oldest brother beat me up an my parents punished me for tattling.

speedyw03 6

Sunday 28 April 2013 4:31

Grounded on your birthday? Your parents must be missing a lot of brain cells to believe your brother.

outoftown 26

Sunday 28 April 2013 4:42

OP, call your physician. Explain what happened. Ask him/her to explain to your parents (again) how serious your allergy is. Hand them the phone, and glare while they hear what dangerous assholes they've been.

flaca273 7

Sunday 28 April 2013 4:43

Your little brother sounds like an ass and your parents grounded you on your birthday? Wtf? I feel for you

Enslaved 36

Sunday 28 April 2013 4:50

Awee, pendatik! (: I truly miss his comments. Anybody know what happened to him? He used to always be here on FML and then *poof.* I guess I'll just have to go on to that Sirinz.org to relive some of the past comments for some of the former greats! :P

jollyton 10

Sunday 28 April 2013 4:56

I've been through the same thing. They thought it was a joke until I told them what they were doing was like poisoning me and that I would press chargers for attempted murder. That's not a joke!

jollyton 10

Sunday 28 April 2013 5:00

Charges*

Bcfrmkc816 17

Sunday 28 April 2013 5:16

Better keep your door locked at night he might just give you some while your asleep. Hope not though. And your parents are screwed in the head sorry to say. Be safe

skyeyez9 24

Sunday 28 April 2013 5:51

Punch the little bitch!

_DudeGuy_ 16

Sunday 28 April 2013 5:55

He sounds evil.

_DudeGuy_ 16

Sunday 28 April 2013 5:57

Seriously guys, e-nut-h with the puns. Do you all have nutting better to do?

blackman100 20

Sunday 28 April 2013 6:19

I would actually murder him. That shit is absolutely unacceptable and **** all parents who side with the younger sibling on everything. No one gets anyone a ******* open jar of peanut butter for a birthday, and no family member old enough to give a gift makes an "honest mistake" by giving another sibling whom you live with a deadly present on accident. **** your family.