Kids: Today, my idiot son tried to get a veteran's discount at American...

By Anonymous - 09/08/2014 13:31 - United States - Akron

Today, my idiot son tried to get a veteran's discount at American Eagle because he's "a fifth prestige" on Call of Duty. FML

agreeclassic 48 360

vote type 1 7 372

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Father of the year

By Harvey knicks grandad - 10/02/2021 21:58 - United Kingdom

Today, my son told me he failed to get into the army, which I didn’t know he was trying to do. Apparently he thought playing Call of Duty non-stop counted as "experience" and that he’d become an officer rank straight away, despite being 10-stone overweight with the brains of a tree stump FML

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By ParentingFail - 13/12/2022 15:00

Today, my 18 year-old son threatened to sue a store because they refused to give him a senior discount, at which point he trashed the store in a blind rage, and got banned for life. That would make more sense if he was actually a senior, not a senior in high school. FML

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By Anonymous - 11/07/2016 07:58 - Bulgaria - Sofia

Today, my son finally got a job for the first time in his life. He only did it so he can upgrade his PC and buy Overwatch. He's 24. FML

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By fuckmylife - 02/02/2010 20:30 - United States

Today, I had to explain to my son that his dad was too busy in a raid on World of Warcraft to be at his award ceremony. FML

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Thank you for your service

By Anonymous - 08/11/2021 17:00

Today, I was pretending to be a veteran for the US Navy at a local outlet, because I was desperate for cheap stuff. All was going well, until an actual vet pointed out that the ship I had on my naval hat was a fictitious one. Shit. FML

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Stop the steal

By Anonymous - 21/07/2021 16:01

Today, my son admitted to maxing out my credit card, gambling on a some scam website that a dumbass streamer was promoting. He's only 10. FML

agreeclassic 1 073

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By Anonymous - 07/01/2013 21:27 - United States - Foxboro

Today, my son volunteered to help me cut out coupons. When I got to the register at the store, I noticed he'd cut off all the barcodes. FML

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Soldier boy

By Anonymous - 19/07/2022 12:00

Today, after my idiot son joined the army, flew out on deployment, he then flew straight back home again after accidentally shooting himself. His squad leader said it was the most bizarre accident he’d ever seen while still being considered an accident. As I said, my son's an idiot. FML

agreeclassic 1 136

vote type 1 234

Dumbass

By Anonymous - 21/11/2022 04:00

Today, my son is an idiot, but I tried to give him the benefit of the doubt by giving him a job as a cashier in one of my stores. Within half an hour, I was sent security footage from that store's manager showing my son on his phone, ignoring customers, picking his nose, and stealing money from the till. FML

agreeclassic 1 006

vote type 1 447

By callofdutyhater - 21/08/2011 05:48 - United States

Today, I finally realized the reason my son's grades have been dropping so much. Every time I drop him off at his tutor's house, they play Call of Duty until I pick him up. FML

agreeclassic 37 920

vote type 1 5 946

JackSkellingtons 11

Saturday 9 August 2014 20:53

Well, did he get it?

WeakYoungTeen 21

Saturday 9 August 2014 20:56

You raised that...

Comments

BaDumTsss_fml 23

Friday 11 September 2015 2:56

He's gonna no-scope someone

Tomato_Cheese 22

Thursday 31 December 2015 14:29

I sighed so hard at this my lungs collapsed.

krakenbanana 15

Saturday 30 January 2016 7:04

KILL HIM. HE NEEDS TO BE OUT OF THE GENE POOL ASAP

dxdexterxr 4

Wednesday 17 February 2016 14:12

I'm only level 33

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Today, my girlfriend has been playing SZA’s "Kill Bill" on repeat all day. I’m starting to get genuinely scared. FML

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Today, the girl I have been dating for the past five years asked me to move to California with her to get married. Naturally, I was thrilled and said, "Of course, when do you want to leave?". She just stared at me blankly and said, "Shit, I was kidding." FML

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Today, I was sent to group therapy. A girl spent twenty minutes telling us horrible details of having been raised incestuously. A side effect of my new medication is yawning. FML

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Today, my boyfriend of 4 years decided to start an online blog about his life. He mentioned his cars, his friends and even his staff. I was never mentioned. FML

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Today, while entering in my college building, I noticed that my right shoelace was untied and I tied it. I didn't realize that just in front of me was a metal beam until I hit my head hard on it and a loud, reverberating sound was produced. Many people saw what happened. FML

agreeclassic 19 725

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Today, I was diagnosed with exercise-induced asthma. I wanted to be a cop. FML

agreeclassic 1 759

vote type 1 184

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