Today, my husband's car was stolen from our driveway while he was out jogging. We'd recently had a huge fight, and he accused me of having done this to get revenge. I was at work all day, but it seems this doesn't make any difference to his dumb, paranoid ass. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I found my bike that was stolen a week ago in front of someone's house. Now this wouldn't have been a problem if my husband didn't steal it to go meet with his girlfriend. FML
Today, I walked out of my boyfriend's house to see my car window smashed in and my steering wheel cover stolen. I was only staying at his place because there had been a rash of vehicle break-ins in my neighborhood. FML
Today, after quite a long work day, I got home to find my house had been broken into. Everything but my sleeping boyfriend was gone. FML
Today, I heard that my ex wrecked my car. He'd "borrowed it" and has had it for 2 months. He refused to return it. I went to the police and they went behind my back and "attempted" to retrieve it yesterday, without me. This just caused him to run away. FML
Today, my grown up, unemployed boyfriend stole 70 dollars from my wallet and tried to hide it in two different places in case he needed to ditch me and go out by himself. He got angry when I confronted him and stormed out. He feels perfectly entitled. I work, pay rent and buy food. FML
Today, my car was stolen. From my driveway. By the guy who sold it to me. FML
Today, my husband and I went out to dinner. I caught him writing down his number for the waitress. When I confronted him, his response was, "What? I'm not allowed to have friends?" and threw a fit over my "irrational paranoia." I had to walk home in the cold, because he kicked me out of the car mid-argument. FML
Today, after I found out my husband cheated on me and then yesterday had to stop him from trying to kill himself, he's now moved out and has decided that this is all my fault. FML
Today, after months of working on our relationship, my ex asked to borrow my car. After many hours and phone calls to see where he was, he still wasn't back. I decided to check my car's GPS and found him at my friend's house. He tried to deny that it was her house, when I've been there multiple times. FML
Today, I went to my boyfriend's house so that he could break up with me. I went out to my car to leave only to discover that all of the wheels had been stolen. Even the spare. I had to spend the rest of the day with my ex-boyfriend finding a way to get my car home. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
AmethystRain 20
You should counter-accuse him of doing it himself in an attempt to frame you, then settle it with a sword fight in the front yard.
tylersign 11
Ok, the deed is done. Where's my money?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (117)
Vash_41288 10
Dumb paranoid yes but you forgot to add fit ass though lol
Iffyy 6
Maybe he's not fit and he's running to get in shape.
JinxosGirl87 0
He probably hid the car while you were at work and then accused you of stealing it just to piss you off. After the fight blows over the car may *magically* reappear in the driveway.
Okayitwasme 0
That was suppose to be a thumbs up lol
stevenmx86 8
Well you wouldn't order someone to steal it when you were home.. I'd have to say that you're both probably dumb asses...
arbogas 5
having to work doesn't mean you can't get someone else to steal the car? especially with a recent fight thats not too far fetched, at any rate, i sure as hell wouldn't want to be married to a **** like you!
Offensive_fml 4
Well, while what he did was wrong, it's even worse that you called him a "dumb, paranoid ass". So much for mutual respect.
Okayitwasme 0
He should have jogged the other way. Would have seen his car rip by him with a bunch of hoodlums in it!
MrPacMan36 4
This sounds more like you're just venting on here than actually thinking your life is f**ked. Because it really sounds like you don't give a damn...
gabe_2011 1
Wow what an imbecile!
tc34 1
You could've hired someone to do it. So how is he dumb. But he is paranoid.
robberry 11
Time for a divorce.