Today, my husband offered to do the weekly grocery shopping. Because he has never done the shopping before, I made him a list of what we needed and other optional foods to give him an idea of what to get. He came back with a week's worth of ramen noodles and 2 litres of soda. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was meal-planning for the week, and sent my fiancee a grocery list with the stuff I needed. She ignored the list and bought nothing but junk food. I guess we can just eat cookie dough and sugar cereal, and die of diabetes in our fifties. FML
Today, my fiancee asked me to text her a grocery list. I asked for meat, fruit, vegetables, you know, the staples. She came back with tons of sugar cereal, pop tarts, cookie dough, and other unhealthy crap. We have no other food, our monthly budget is gone, and junk food gives me horrible stomach cramps. FML
Today, I sent my boyfriend to the store to get groceries while I was at work. Instead of what I listed, he came back with hot pockets, ice cream and beer. I'm lactose intolerant and pregnant. FML
Today, my step-brother went grocery shopping alone for the first time. He came home with Ramen and 14 bottles of chocolate milk, which will expire by the 20th. My step-dad is insisting we eat it so it doesn't go to waste. FML
Today, we have nearly no food in the house. My husband went shopping with the kids and returned with a sack of tomatoes. Time to make lunch. FML
Today, I went grocery shopping but once at the store I realized that I'd forgotten my shopping list at home. I ended up buying a bunch of random items using basic guesswork and forgetting what I had originally gone to the store for. I now have two avocados, even though I hate avocados. FML
Today, as he was going out, I asked my father if he stop by the store and buy some tampons for me and toilet paper for the house, because we have been out for the last 5 days. He came home with a 30-pack of beer and cigarettes instead. I just started my time of the month and we have no more money. FML
Today, my husband reorganized our fridge for the World Cup. He cleared everything out and filled it with beer and chips. FML
Today, I went to the grocery store for three items. I left with two full bags and forgot the one thing I actually needed. I didn’t realize until I got home, unpacked everything, and stared at the empty counter in disbelief. Next on my list: start making lists. FML
Today, it's my birthday. I worked late, so I was looking forward to spending a quiet evening with my husband. When he suggested we go grocery shopping, I got excited thinking he had organized a surprise party or something. He actually just took me grocery shopping. FML
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Top comments
doemetoch 28
Wait wait wait. Your husband's never done grocery shopping? Providing sufficient and more or less healthy food for yourself and your family is like adulting 101.
HappyItalian 38
Does your husband happen to be a college student?
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Comments (65)
Tannasgh 22
He is trying to fool you. He knows better, but knows if he fouls it up you won't ask again. What a man-puss
Nysha 17
What the hell did he do before you two got married?
BloodyGlass 10
Maybe, after eating nothing but ramen and water (no soda for him) until he learns to do shopping correctly will clue him in on how to read a shopping list and actually get the things on the list. :)
leah_kascar 8
Keep him
Yersiniap 4
Does he need to be taught how to read a list AND how to do the shopping?
andrmac 25
Give him a pen and send him back until all the items are crossed off after filling his carriage then checked out, and double check the list after he comes home.
SteveDudleyUK 10
OK, you REALLY don't want to do household shopping EVER yet have been given the task and a list of food by your wife/partner. Do you shop like a good little boy or buy rubbish and pretend you can't do such a task and never be trusted with going to the shops ever again? Funny thing is the women fall for it every time. One burnt shirt ten years ago and I've not had to touch an iron since. Yes dear, thank you for my ironing.
tntscl 4
And let me guess he is proud of how much money he saved. Lol
paperroof 1
When my exhusband offered to go grocery shopping he was actually cheating on me
FlyingMangoes 5
You gave him a list. I'm pretty sure there is no excuse for this... unless he can't read.