Intimacy: Today, my husband bought me a bouquet of roses. They caused me...

By Anonymous - 20/06/2011 05:45 - United States

Today, my husband bought me a bouquet of roses. They caused me to sneeze seven times in a row. That was the closest he's ever got me to an orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 935

You deserved it 8 615

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Take what you can

By omglifee - 20/12/2009 04:13 - Canada

Today, I sneezed seven times in a row. That's the closest thing I've had to an orgasm in months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 930

You deserved it 4 134

A+ for effort…

By I tried - 03/10/2025 22:00

Today, I lit candles and scattered rose petals on the floor and on the furniture to surprise my girlfriend. When she came in, she sneezed uncontrollably because apparently she’s extremely allergic to these particular roses. The night ended with me driving her to the ER instead of dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 431

You deserved it 104

By sneezeattack - 14/05/2012 05:27 - United States - Aurora

Today, my boyfriend got so happy when he thought he'd finally given me an orgasm. I was covering an urge to sneeze. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 048

You deserved it 4 325

By torny>horny - 10/04/2011 04:42 - United States

Today, my husband tried to be romantic by throwing me in a bed laid with roses. Too bad he forgot to remove the thorns first. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 624

You deserved it 4 986

That'll do it

By Zippyzoo - 03/02/2009 22:16 - United States

Today, when my boyfriend was about to orgasm, I suddenly sneezed all over his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 365

You deserved it 9 141

Best day of my life

By Cherub - 03/05/2009 22:16 - United Kingdom

Today, it's my wedding day. It was meant to be perfect. The bouquet, along with a high pollen count, set my hay fever off. I walked down the aisle in front of 200 people with streaming eyes and a runny nose; I then had a sneezing fit during my vows and blew a large snot bubble. Real attractive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 115

You deserved it 7 834

By AllergicToRosesAndSingle - 15/02/2018 01:30

Today, I surprised my girlfriend with origami roses, as I am highly allergic to real ones. Her response? To scream at me and slam the door in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 080

You deserved it 451

By lyinginbed - 04/06/2016 19:45 - United Kingdom

Today, I was walking through a field with my boyfriend and he picked me some pretty flowers. I hugged him and leant in to sniff them. In doing so, I inhaled a bee up my nose and had to force it out my swollen nostril after it had stung me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 355

You deserved it 1 190

Do it again

By thornrose22 - 01/11/2009 00:22 - United States

Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. After about five minutes, he sneezes violently on me. I don't know what's worse, him getting snot all over my intimate bits or the fact that the sneeze felt better then what he was doing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 246

You deserved it 3 208

Mixed signals

By marie - 28/08/2023 16:00

Today, my boyfriend surprised me with a bouquet of flowers he'd picked himself. This would’ve been romantic, had they not all been Poison Hemlock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 678

You deserved it 118

texanengineer 4

Monday 20 June 2011 12:06

...so more roses then?

rbubbles 20

Monday 20 June 2011 12:14

you're mean, why don't you try giving him hints on what to do bed next time. the flowers were a lovely gesture though so I hope you appreciated them instead of having a sook about sneezing

Comments

nifa86 12

Tuesday 21 June 2011 22:26

how does him giving u roses and them making u sneeze relate to his orgasming??

Alex213 0

Wednesday 22 June 2011 0:09

this sounds like an excuse of why shes cheating or will cheat

0bscured_1 0

Wednesday 22 June 2011 6:13

you're a total bitch. He does something nice for you and you turn around and complain about his inadequacy. DIAF

cawissa 0

Wednesday 22 June 2011 7:36

you needa read Cosmopolitan

oooKiLLaHooo 0

Wednesday 22 June 2011 12:02

women are so ignorant!! if you can't ******...then that's your own bodies' fault!!

courtezglenn 0

Wednesday 22 June 2011 22:45

ur life doesn't suck his does

illuminerdi 4

Thursday 23 June 2011 1:40

Ok, this is bullshit: if your husband isn't doing what you need him to sexually, then you have an obligation to TELL HIM. Likewise were the tables turned. He isn't magically one day going to do better unless you talk to him about it. Yeah his ego will be bruised as hell at first, but he'll get over it. Men don't just quit wanting to have sex - offer to work with him and help out and ask what he needs in terms of signals, etc. Also, you're a bitch for taking a nice gesture and turning it into a "poor me" moment.