Health: Today, my husband and I had just got over a big argument, and...

By lemonhead - 23/05/2011 01:58

Today, my husband and I had just got over a big argument, and I asked him to cut me some cucumbers for my eyes to help me relax. I was laying down, eyed closed, and he set them on my eyes. They weren't cucumbers, they were lemons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 918

You deserved it 47 454

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Same thing different taste

By jumpy - 03/01/2010 23:59 - United States

Today, I put cucumber slices on my eyes to help me relax. I found this very calming till I woke up to ants trying to eat my eyes out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 617

You deserved it 6 551

By torny>horny - 10/04/2011 04:42 - United States

Today, my husband tried to be romantic by throwing me in a bed laid with roses. Too bad he forgot to remove the thorns first. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 586

You deserved it 4 982

Childish doofus

By -__- - 26/12/2015 13:41

Today, I showed my husband a recipe for the meal I wanted us to make tonight. He saw cumin was an ingredient and broke into hysterics. By the time he managed to stop laughing, he gasped that he couldn't eat something "with cumin it" and broke down laughing again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 390

You deserved it 2 997

By FoxyManicLiar - 27/09/2010 21:06 - France

Today, I got a bad cut on my dominant hand while at work. My boss decided to order me to juice lemons... all 300 of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 403

You deserved it 3 183

By Anonymous - 02/11/2013 17:34 - United States - Rowland Heights

Today, my husband and I were arguing, but I dropped it so we could calm down before discussing the matter again. Later on, he made us lasagna. The moment I swallowed the first mouthful, he smirked, then started snickering uncontrollably. What the fuck did he do to my food? FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 630

You deserved it 5 672

By Anonymous - 15/08/2018 20:30

Today, I rested my face against my boyfriend's shoulder while we watched a movie. I didn’t realize he had put Icy Hot on the same shoulder right before I sat down. I cried in pain. He cried with laughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 765

You deserved it 436

By Anonymous - 17/10/2009 16:26 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around when he accidentally elbowed me in the eye and I couldn't see. He rolled over, turned on the football game, and told me to just walk upstairs and get ice. He also added that he would like a coke while I am up there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 947

You deserved it 5 302

By Brian - 18/03/2012 02:32 - United States - East Wenatchee

Today, while I was cuddling with my girlfriend, she looked at me and leaned in. Thinking she was going to kiss me, I leaned too. Just as we were about to kiss, she screamed "COW KISSES" and somehow managed to lick my eyeball. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 198

You deserved it 5 102

By 5p4571k - 25/05/2014 17:35 - Canada - Chilliwack

Today, I was cooking dinner for my children, managing for once not to screw up and hurt myself. Then, while chopping vegetables, I accidentally sliced my finger open. The same finger that was still covered in juice from a lemon I'd just squeezed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 960

You deserved it 7 575

Gross idea

By Anonymous - 09/03/2012 00:30 - Canada

Today, my husband and I got into a fight because I refused to let him use my fingernail to clean the plaque off his teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 820

You deserved it 2 951

spazmattic 0

Monday 23 May 2011 9:05

When wife gives you lemons...

Gallaghers 0

Monday 23 May 2011 12:51

She deserved it, if they just had a argument, he's obviously going to still sore about something, maybe because he has a lazy wife who demands that he cut her vegetables for her eyes (which I'm pretty sure don't do anything). Shes not worrying about how stressed or how he is after the fight, stuck up bitch

Comments

PS1213 0

Monday 23 May 2011 21:14

You were JUST arguing... What did you expect?! o_o

Zombieslayer1 0

Monday 23 May 2011 21:19

You people are all ****** if you think she should get him back for that. What does she expect him to do after a big row? Just wait on her hand and foot? She is showing no compation to him in this situation and only thinking of her own comfort. Good for the husband.

osheldm 0

Monday 23 May 2011 21:58

I would have used pickles

ACM1899 0

Monday 23 May 2011 22:19

lazy ass.. next time do it urself.

elbishay93 0

Monday 23 May 2011 23:05

dude!!! who does that!!??

Zombieslayer1 0

Tuesday 24 May 2011 7:55

People who are sick and tired of stuck up selfish bitches who need to learn that the world won't stop just to say "God bless you" everytime they sneezes.

SuperWasian 0

Monday 23 May 2011 23:14

Cut your own damn cucumbers.

DrinkMilkKickAss 0

Monday 23 May 2011 23:53

Why couldn't you do it yourself?

ZoZo17_fml 0

Tuesday 24 May 2011 0:02

put itching powder in his socks & underwear. :)

KattAlex 4

Tuesday 24 May 2011 0:03

By asked do you actually mean demanded? I'm sorry but if you just had a big argument you shouldn't be asking for anything from each other especially if the issue wasn't completely resolved, which I'm assuming it wasn't, because you are both most likely on edge with each other. The best solution would be to stay away from each other until you both are at ease so you can discuss the issue calmly.

HomeAl0ne 20

Tuesday 24 May 2011 0:19

See, I would have come back with a cucumber and lovingly applied it, then when she complained I would have said "Your eyes? Eyes?? I thought you said you wanted it for your ass!"