Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend was sitting on my lap at a birthday party.... - FML

By needsnewshorts - 16/07/2013 01:42 - United States - San Clemente

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend was sitting on my lap at a birthday party. She thought it would be funny to fart. I came instantly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 476

You deserved it 23 636

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Same thing different taste

Nice outing

By Anonymous - 07/12/2019 05:00 - United Kingdom - London

Spicy

Today, I decided to treat my girlfriend by eating her out. After a while I thought she was going to cum, but instead she farted in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 372

You deserved it 746

By ThisIsMyLife - 04/06/2017 04:00

Today, while naked, my fiancée said there was something wrong with her butt. She turned around and I leaned in to look at it. She then farted in my face. On purpose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 531

You deserved it 1 600

Protip

By Herman - 13/02/2023 06:00 - United States - Bedford

Spicy

Today, I went to my room to find my girlfriend on the floor, butt up, with her pants down. I elatedly took the invitation and dropped my pants too, only for her to tell me, "Not so fast champ, I'm trying to force some farts out." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 009

You deserved it 432

By ass slap - 11/08/2013 15:35 - United States - Broomall

Spicy

Today, while I was hanging out with a cute girl, I slapped her ass playfully. She told me that she was going to get me back. She slapped my ass later that night unexpectedly while I was holding in a huge fart... It came out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 213

You deserved it 24 811

By USSEYL - 26/11/2008 04:43 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I was performing the classic 69 position with my girlfriend. I wasn't able to control it : I farted right into her nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 078

You deserved it 27 469

By gassygirlfriend - 10/05/2015 08:40 - United States - Nampa

Today, I was spooning with my girlfriend. She fell asleep and spent the next 15 minutes farting on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 038

You deserved it 5 127

By john - 28/01/2009 23:02 - United States

Today, the girl who I have had a crush on for 2 years snuck up from behind me and gave me a hug. I farted very loud at the same exact time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 833

You deserved it 5 153

By Mr Eek - 25/10/2008 16:57

Spicy

Today, for the very first time I got it on with my girlfriend. Unfortunately, afterwards I had a terrible tummy ache and let out a very noisy fart. I'm not sure she'll still be my girlfriend tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 563

You deserved it 12 434

Let it all out

By pottypattypeepants - 31/12/2009 20:04 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were play wrestling. I had pinned him down and was sitting on his chest when he suddenly squeezed my stomach, causing me to rip the loudest fart ever. He looked so shocked that I couldn't help but laugh. I laughed so hard that I accidentally peed on him as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 672

You deserved it 19 637

Don't answer

By Anonymous - 10/11/2014 14:28 - Germany - Berlin

Today, I thought I felt my cellphone vibrating. Turned out it was just my girlfriend letting out a vicious fart against my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 599

You deserved it 5 799

Next

Top comments

dawnimus 21

Tuesday 16 July 2013 9:20

Farting turns you on? Wow, that's a very specific fetish...

hotshot0185 15

Tuesday 16 July 2013 9:20

You'll last longer in time.

Comments

HeyHeyFishFillet 34

Tuesday 16 July 2013 9:27

I can only assume that from now on the smell of farts gets you rock-hard.

johnson1995 4

Tuesday 16 July 2013 9:48

haha that ***** nastyy!

norotors 16

Wednesday 17 July 2013 0:51

Classical conditioning. Psychology!

sunflowerchild 10

Tuesday 16 July 2013 9:27

Nothing sexier than a fart job

sillyrosster 11

Tuesday 16 July 2013 9:31

That is weird. Don't think that would happen to me, but you never know until it happens :p

dRUMsKELETON 12

Tuesday 16 July 2013 9:32

That's a particularly embarrassing moment to realize your secret fetish. Hopefully you were somewhat discreet in your climax so no one noticed at least!

Obey_StudBoii 23

Tuesday 16 July 2013 17:12

By the looks of his username, it doesn't sound discreet.

BlissfulLiss 18

Tuesday 16 July 2013 9:33

If there was a smell, too bad it didn't come simultaneously with the fart. Then maybe you could have held out...unless you're into that.

davincidasecond 24

Tuesday 16 July 2013 9:34

Damn, it would really suck if she were to fart right as you were about to enter into her ...

Joe9024 20

Tuesday 16 July 2013 9:38

Next she'll be taking a dump on your chest right??

nightfire2258 24

Tuesday 16 July 2013 9:38

Anyone else think of the song "**** In My Pants" by The Lonely Island?

KinkyCurly 13

Tuesday 16 July 2013 9:42

Had you maybe not had sex in a long time???... I hope that was what it was...

Psycho_Babydoll 26

Tuesday 16 July 2013 9:43

This is far too funny.

twinkletoes747 16

Tuesday 16 July 2013 13:26

Don't you mean far toot funny?

illegalbeagle69 23

Tuesday 16 July 2013 16:18

or fart oo funny.. maybe.

davincidasecond 24

Tuesday 16 July 2013 18:30

Nah ... Doesn't seem to work.

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The Top

Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunderstorm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 96 943

You deserved it 251 934

Today, I came home from college to find my favorite silk nightie that I'd left behind being modeled by Bernie, the family dog. Nobody will admit to who put it on him. I don't know what's worse, that my family is a bunch of assholes, or that my nightie is big enough to fit a Saint Bernard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 307

You deserved it 3 970

The Top

Today, at work, a woman came up to the snack bar and ordered a pretzel with no salt. When I served her the food, she angrily complained about it having no salt, followed by her throwing the whole thing in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 204

You deserved it 3 455

Today, my wife and I spent hours cleaning our home, including her mother’s room, which has a floor covered in talcum powder (that she believes keeps ants away). After laboriously sweeping, and then washing the floor, it eventually dried. Two minutes later she poured talc all over the floor again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 509

You deserved it 131

Today, my brother said he was cleaning his room. When I walked in, he was giving my cousin a blowjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 692

You deserved it 3 065

Today, in history class, we were talking about Ancient Rome, and what childbirth would have been like back then. One girl asked in all seriousness why they didn't use ultrasound machines to see what sex their babies were. I have to deal with people like this on a daily basis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 995

You deserved it 2 157

Today, it's my first day of high school. It's also my first day of a three-day in-school suspension. The reason? I sat next to a girl and she immediately got up and told the teacher that she didn't "feel safe". FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 927

You deserved it 216

Today, and for months, my upstairs neighbor has been stomping on their floors, hard enough to shake our walls. We thought it was their child, but found out it’s the mother. She took up running, and due to the pandemic, she does it in the living room. She's already been told to stop. Repeatedly. I work 12-hour nights. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 828

You deserved it 134