Today, my girlfriend said, "People think I don't have talent, but I do. I'm really good with my mouth. Just ask anyone." FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, after having waited three long months, my shy girlfriend finally gave me a blowjob. Everything was going really well until I said, "Wow, you're really talented. Anyone would think you've been practicing your whole life." FML
Today, while talking to the girl I have a crush on, I bragged how people tell me I have a voice for radio. She responded, "And the face for it too." FML
Today, I was auditioning for a talent show. I asked my girlfriend if I could sing to her before I went. She said sure. Thirty seconds in, she got up and mumbled, "You're only going to embarrass yourself." FML
Today, the sweetest thing my boyfriend ever told me was that I'd make a good porn star. FML
Today, I tried singing in front of my friend. She said, "That's a hilarious voice! You should use that voice when telling jokes!" FML
Today, I told my girlfriend she was beautiful. She replied, "Lit." FML
Today, I told my boyfriend he is good at singing. Now he won't stop. FML
Today, I said to my significant other, "I think I'm a pretty good catch." She started laughing so heavily that tears came out of her eyes. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend if she has ever had an affair. She replied, "Yes. With you". FML
Today, my dentist told me I had a good tongue. That's the best compliment I've gotten in months. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
hpl_fml 0
wow just wow
karro 1
lol maybe she means talking? lol
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (170)
pandabear948756 0
Wow. I hate girls like that.
jasmineviolette 0
cootie queen
VeryNice329 0
fabulous. absolutely fabulous.
brenmccall 0
interesting...
OmGr0fLmFaO 0
not an fml
jgill87 0
I wish Paige said this to me.
Seems2BBadLuck 0
umm
zarb94 0
ydi for having a girlfriend with a talent like that
AznWaffle8 0
She meant it sexually? That sucks.
confucious 0
What's her phone number????