Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend called me over to her house. When I knocked,...

By Anonymous - 15/09/2011 23:54 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend called me over to her house. When I knocked, no one responded to the door. I decided to check the back yard and found her sunbathing by the pool. I kneeled by her and placed my hand on her butt, kissing her neck. What I heard next, "So this is what you do with my daughter." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 971

You deserved it 26 604

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Quick, hide!

By Mattyboy - 24/08/2009 09:57 - United States

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend at her house. When things started heating up, I heard the front door open and my girlfriend said that it must be her Dad. She handed me my clothes, pushed me out the window, and told me to knock at the front door. Her Dad answered, holding my shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 925

You deserved it 18 636

All kinds of wrong

By Anonymous - 10/04/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, I had my girlfriend over after my wife went to work. She looked so sexy in her outfit, I couldn’t resist. I ripped her clothes off and began to do her on my couch… until I heard my daughter’s voice asking, “Dad, who’s that?” Apparently, she was home sick from school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65

You deserved it 935

By unbelievable208 - 05/08/2009 05:28 - United States

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. It was just me and her. Things began to get heated, and we started doing it on the living room couch. Near the end of it, I whispered in her ear, "Who's your daddy?" I then heard behind me, "I am." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 641

You deserved it 86 671

By policeopenup - 11/07/2009 19:38 - United States

Today, my girlfriend threw me on the couch as I walked in the door. I butt dialed my mom in the process. My girlfriend took off my pants and we got to business. After about 30 seconds of hearing what was going on, my mom thought something was wrong and called the cops to my apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 377

You deserved it 8 733

By mal - 08/05/2012 20:46 - United Kingdom - Chelmsford

Today, I brought my girlfriend home while my parents were at work, and things got a little heated. We lost track of time, because the next thing we knew, my dad burst into the living room. He doubled over laughing and asked how much I paid her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 155

You deserved it 6 257

By Anonymous - 01/10/2009 14:06 - Canada

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. I was on their bed having sex with their daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 905

You deserved it 39 499

Back to reality

By Anonymous - 24/12/2012 18:02 - United Kingdom - Saint Neots

Today, as her parents were supposed to be out of town, I stayed over with my girlfriend, and we ended up in bed together. Later on, while poking through the fridge, I heard footsteps, so I said, "Didn't think you'd be walking after that." I closed the fridge and saw her dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 914

You deserved it 28 232

Kinky

By sad_dad - 24/10/2009 17:35 - Canada

Today, I got home from work and heard the shower in my bathroom running. Thinking my wife was taking a shower, I got completely undressed and walked in. My wife wasn't in the shower. Instead, I found my daughter and her boyfriend in the shower, making out. There was an awkward moment of silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 170

You deserved it 10 310

By orcatheseapanda - 09/01/2016 05:14 - Thailand

Today, I was stretching on the balcony, when I heard my neighbor's daughter scream. She was playing in their kiddie pool and thought I was peeping on her. And now her parents think so too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 175

You deserved it 1 413

Caught in 4K

By Anonymous - 22/03/2009 13:04 - Malta

Today, my parents were out so I invited my girlfriend over. It was the afternoon, and things started to heat up. We were having sex, and I was about to finish. Then I looked through the window, to see a construction worker (who was fixing the house next to mine) giving me a thumbs up. He's her dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 196 626

You deserved it 34 713

illmatic2 16

Friday 16 September 2011 8:50

Obviously a MILF.

s0m3guy2010 21

Friday 16 September 2011 9:10

I bet OP really wishes he had a moment with a Twix bar.

Comments

Ricky23J 0

Sunday 18 September 2011 2:44

Lol y'all comments make no sense. Dude never specifies if it was her mom she was kissing. It says he FOUND her sunbathing. Obviously mom or dad was just watching.

LilaBear 1

Tuesday 20 September 2011 4:37

That was my initial impression too, but I read it a second time (because I was speed-reading first time) and my impression changed. OP should have phrased things better if he actually meant what you said.

bbiiaattcchh13 1

Sunday 18 September 2011 5:48

SMOOTH MOVE

justanotherhuman 21

Sunday 18 September 2011 10:13

Yeah minus the caps, Sade was definitely the soundtrack for this post. It reeeaaally was.

l0latyou 0

Sunday 18 September 2011 6:03

Butt isn't good anymore when it's saggy, it's all good when it's perky

gahballs3 6

Sunday 18 September 2011 10:25

You always make a joke out of it! EVEN WHEN EVERYONE KNOWS ITS NO JOKE.

asterik99 3

Sunday 18 September 2011 22:29

Should have let her ride the ol' baloney pony. Would have been solid for life with the family then.

IceCreamMage 17

Sunday 18 September 2011 23:20

Am I the only one reading it a different way? It sounds to me like he put his hand on his girlfriend's ass and either her mum OR dad caught him out and so shit will be awkward now whenever he goes over next.