Today, my girlfriend and I were out to dinner. She had to use the bathroom, so she went, but the food came while she was in there. She came out, yelling at me for ordering the food to come that exact time, then she broke up with me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I took my girlfriend to a restaurant we both like. By the end of the date, we were fighting and she angrily broke up with me. To make things worse, I got food poisoning. She didn't. FML
Today, I went on a date. After we finished our meal, I had to use the bathroom really bad. When I said so, my date totally lost it and accused me of planning on climbing out a window and ditching her. "Fuck that and fuck you!" she said, then stormed out, leaving me with the bill. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend to eat out at a restaurant. We chatted for an hour, and it all seemed to be going well, until she told me that she wanted to break up. Waiting for the bill and driving her home was the most painful time of my life. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 6 years broke up with me. Why? I was late for our date. We arrived at the restaurant together. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend out for lunch, and I asked her if I could have a bite of her meal. She took it to mean I was calling her fat, and stormed out. FML
Today, I was in a restaurant with my fiancée for dinner. I commented that she had some food around her mouth. She responded with a lecture, then by throwing her hot bowl of noodles at me, before stomping out the restaurant. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Because she farted, and thought it was "too awkward". FML
Today, I was eating a fancy dinner with my girlfriend at a restaurant. Suddenly, my ex-girlfriend, who was seemingly still angry after our breakup 2 years ago, saw me through the window. She walked in, took my spaghetti dinner, shoved it in my face, and stormed out. FML
Today, I burned dinner because my girlfriend was yelling for me to help with a trivial problem. To salvage things, I ordered pizza. She spent the rest of the evening moaning that I ruined dinner, that we don't eat healthy, and that I "make us" waste money on food. FML
Today, after weeks of my girlfriend moaning that I never go anywhere, I went out with some friends. An hour in, she started blowing up my phone. When I answered it, she was screaming in rage because I wasn't home to cook dinner. FML
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Top comments
Charlie Given 28
Sounds like she was planning on breaking up at the dinner and just used that as the excuse.
bloopaloop 27
Sounds like the best thing that could have happened
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Comments (24)
bigdaddyeric 37
Be glad she’s gone now, I dated someone like that and I swear they knew when the food would arrive and they suddenly had to go to the restroom, and God Forbid anyone started eating before they came back! So it was fight or cold food, we broke up and so should you, this is only the tip of the insanity iceberg !!!
Ksweety_fml 27
look at that as a blessing.
Sarah_360767614 8
Sounds like you dodged a bullet
Matthew Irmen 11
It only gets worse, let her go
008GGG 14
I’m just here to see how many people mentioned dodging a bullet...
MamaChey 24
YFDI. Why the he’ll would you order the food to come at the exact time she went to the bathroom? Dude, she sounds like a effing self-centered psychopath. Thank goodness you didn’t knock her up & get a life sentence!
Mungolikecandy 19
Someone was looking for an excuse to break up. If not she must be such a little drama queen it is a good thing to have that stress gone.
AmbrosiaFan 19
You dodged a bullet if she broke up with you for that. Imagine how she'd flip if you were married...
johnnyswallop 18
YDI...meaning you deserve to be freed of that psycho.
1gullible_bugger 34
Sounds like she's cray cray... Better off without her by the sounds of it.