Today, my girlfriend and I were going to get intimate, so I masturbated before leaving my place, hoping it would help me last longer than usual. 10 minutes in, she shoved me off and started screaming at me, convinced that I've been cheating on her and practising with someone else. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She'd walked in on me jerking off, which she said is exactly the same as cheating on her. FML
Today, I went to work leaving my girlfriend asleep in my bed. Later she calls me, demanding to know how long I've been cheating on her. We don't use condoms but she found several in the bin when she decided to empty it. I had to explain while my colleagues listened that I use them to masturbate. FML
Today, after a huge fight, my girlfriend started coming onto me. I thought it was actual make-up sex and went along with it. It was great, until she suddenly shoved me off her just as I was almost ready to come. She smugly announced she was dumping me, got dressed, then left. FML
Today, my girlfriend sent me a revenge video of her having sex with another guy, because I cheated on her. I got angry with her, but later used the video to masturbate. FML
Today, I walked in on my girlfriend having sex with another man. Her main reaction was to get mad at me for not knocking. FML
Today, I was all set to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. I was ecstatic, until she threatened to "beat the fuck" out of me if I didn't make it good for her. The actual sex was 30 seconds of me being given death glares, causing me to lose my boner, and have to leave in shame. FML
Today, I woke up to my girlfriend masturbating beside me. I asked if she needed a hand. She called me a pervert and now won't speak to me. FML
Today, I started coming on to my girlfriend, only to get a nasty rejection. I told her I would just go jerk off, to which she replied, "Don't you dare!" FML
Today, my girlfriend got pissed because she thought she heard me masturbating in the bathroom. I was brushing my teeth. FML
Today, I tried coming on to my fiancé. He just pushed me off and got out of bed, saying he wasn't in the mood. A half hour later, I caught him jerking off to several windows of porn. FML
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Top comments
Saone_fml 27
So much for trying to please her... Next time she makes dinner, scream at her that she's cheating on you and practicing cooking for someone else.
cuponoodles34 10
does she really trust you so little???
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Comments (103)
andy1500726 19
might be ******* embarrassing, but you have to tell her the whole story. if u want her back.
MiltRawk 4
Funny thing is, I bet your hand had no complaints whatsoever
MDTeddy 13
Soooo she would rather assume something over a one time thing that wasn't even remotely related and complain rather than have sex and feel great with her bf? She must have trust issues or something or this fml wouldn't be an fml.
itsjusyme 11
Good man, I would have said, you just ant that good, it takes me time to visualise someone else! Then I am good to go!
pdp_fml 21
There's nothing much I could add to,these comments, but your girl friend should thank you for trying so hard to please her.
samglam08 7
Why's she complaining lol
icepick23 12
Your girlfriend is a moron.
akiahara 14
You should've come clean. I'm sure she would've been much more understanding. You left a bit of a mess and she's left to assume the worst.
MacMonster 10
45- I didn't see any intended pun. Just a statement.
Twisted_Angel 17
Wow... that's pretty bad OP. she sounds a little crazy.