Today, my girlfriend and I were going to get intimate, so I masturbated before leaving my place, hoping it would help me last longer than usual. 10 minutes in, she shoved me off and started screaming at me, convinced that I've been cheating on her and practising with someone else. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She'd walked in on me jerking off, which she said is exactly the same as cheating on her. FML
Today, I went to work leaving my girlfriend asleep in my bed. Later she calls me, demanding to know how long I've been cheating on her. We don't use condoms but she found several in the bin when she decided to empty it. I had to explain while my colleagues listened that I use them to masturbate. FML
Today, after a huge fight, my girlfriend started coming onto me. I thought it was actual make-up sex and went along with it. It was great, until she suddenly shoved me off her just as I was almost ready to come. She smugly announced she was dumping me, got dressed, then left. FML
Today, my girlfriend sent me a revenge video of her having sex with another guy, because I cheated on her. I got angry with her, but later used the video to masturbate. FML
Today, I walked in on my girlfriend having sex with another man. Her main reaction was to get mad at me for not knocking. FML
Today, I was all set to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. I was ecstatic, until she threatened to "beat the fuck" out of me if I didn't make it good for her. The actual sex was 30 seconds of me being given death glares, causing me to lose my boner, and have to leave in shame. FML
Today, I woke up to my girlfriend masturbating beside me. I asked if she needed a hand. She called me a pervert and now won't speak to me. FML
Today, I started coming on to my girlfriend, only to get a nasty rejection. I told her I would just go jerk off, to which she replied, "Don't you dare!" FML
Today, my girlfriend got pissed because she thought she heard me masturbating in the bathroom. I was brushing my teeth. FML
Today, I tried coming on to my fiancé. He just pushed me off and got out of bed, saying he wasn't in the mood. A half hour later, I caught him jerking off to several windows of porn. FML
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Top comments
Saone_fml 27
So much for trying to please her... Next time she makes dinner, scream at her that she's cheating on you and practicing cooking for someone else.
cuponoodles34 10
does she really trust you so little???
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Comments (103)
FMLJFL 5
People who do it usually accuse others...
Jessj958 19
That's usually the case #12. A guilty conscious can drive them crazy!
lishajoy777 14
Very true!
SWC_Penguin 17
Do I have this right? Her ONLY clue was that you lasted 10 minutes? That's incredibly weak.
cupcakechick 17
he never said he only lasts 10 min, he said 10 minutes into having sex
SWC_Penguin 17
Guess what, I didn't say he "only" lasted 10 minutes either. That word's all on you.
xNephilim 18
I can see where they'd get that from, though. If she starts screaming at him after 10 minutes, that could mean she's not used to him lasting more than 6-8 minutes and 10 minutes are absolutely out of the norm for him, hence the amazingly stupid assumption he cheated.
Saikon1357 25
The man jerked it before having sex to make himself last longer. I'd say that's a pretty good indicator of OP having a short fuse until he blows his load.
ntherewas1 11
My ex boyfriend used to be terrible in bed; he'd last a minuscule amount of time and on top of that he didn't do foreplay…after we got back together he was surprisingly good! All sorts of stuff…from foreplay to different positions…and I got suspicious too that he'd been having sex with other women. The improvement really was huge.
LittlePengy 22
#104 what do you mean you got suspicious of him doing other girls?? you said after you got back together, he probably did do other girls?
Inciter 33
Well, she must have trust issues if she thinks you're cheating because you last more than ten minutes. Tell her the truth so she'll back off.
laden_swallow09 34
If she overreacted like that on a mere assumption with only one indicator that he lasts longer, I don't think she'd be eager to accept truth.
kendallw13 15
tell her the truth! I think it's kinda sweet in a weird way that you did that because wanted to last longer for her.
tygerarmy 35
Well you have been with Palmela Handerson
gc327072 30
Is that the girl down the road with Pam-sized teddies?
mikeymayhem_87 15
Maybe had a threesome with Rosy Palms as well
Catkam623 27
You cheated on Jill.., bastard you know she's always been there for you.
greenie213 23
Yeah you're cheating... with Miss Palmer and her five sisters!
mangoboy1 19
Your girlfriend(I hope ex now) is a bitch.
xrudeboyrock 29
I read that like you were masturbating with her there.
Enslaved 36
That's some "There's something about Mary" hair gel advice!(:
countryrose92 23
Tell her what you did and then suggest that if she wants to help you last longer instead of you doing it yourself, next time start with a BJ and then later in the evening follow up with the main event. :)