Today, my five-year-old daughters realized that if one of them rang the doorbell, it would keep me distracted long enough for the other one to steal cookies from the kitchen. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I realized that my five-year-old daughters are deranged psychopaths, when one of them started screaming to get my attention while the other pulled the car door shut on my fingers. FML
Today, two children decided it would be fun to try to ding-dong-ditch me. I never answered the door as I saw them running away. They did it a couple of times before getting bored. That's when they decided it would be fun to come into my house instead. FML
Today, my 4-year-old twin sons discovered how to lock doors. They locked me out of the house while I was taking out the trash. I had to climb through the kitchen window, which they'd generously smeared with peanut butter. FML
Today, I asked my 7-year-old daughter what job she would like to have when she grows up. She calmly replied that she wouldn't have one; she'd just bring her husband round to my place and steal food from me. FML
Today, my five-year-old daughter called the police to report her stolen nose. FML
Today, I discovered that when business is slow at my family-owned store, my daughter and another employee make a habit of sneaking away to the back room. I have literally been paying this kid to screw around with my daughter. FML
Today, I needed to grab something from the garage. As soon as the door closed, I heard a little click sound. My one-year-old seems to have figured out the door lock. FML
Today, I was babysitting for my neighbors. Their 5 year-old had finally fallen asleep at 11 after two hours of stories and songs. No sooner had I tiptoed out of the room did I realize that my phone had dropped out of my pocket onto the bed. It was ringing. It was their mother checking in. FML
Today, management told me that I couldn't have a doorbell on my door. How did they get my attention to tell me this? By ringing my doorbell. FML
Today, I locked myself out and had to enter my house via the back door. Thinking I was an intruder, my 7-year-old daughter slammed a metal rake into the back of my head. Nice to know she can take care of herself. FML
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Top comments
BellaBear90 27
Smart cookies :)
pam241 15
Genius kids you got there
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Comments (147)
bazookajoey 27
Smart kids you got there OP
denkou 13
Not fair! I always wanted an evil twin! (Well that's how i pictured it in my mind)
nancy_ydg17 11
Slick :D
wolfman2123 13
For once the public education system works
adriianaa_xox 12
awww sounds like my cousins
uglyvioletloser 7
Your children are genius.
candyycurnn 10
Great teamwork girls :)
Axel5238 29
I can't say it sucks this is actually pretty cute. I would say though if they do stuff like this on the regular it might be worth while in getting a video camera and submitting it to America's Funniest home videos or on youtube.
S4N 5
Have your husband answer it & watch them! If they don't listen, put them in timeout on seperate sides of the room, facing the wall, sitting criss-cross-applesauce. Make them sit a minute for how old they are (5 years=5 minutes.) When I nanny or babysit I figured out that method helps. But if I'm too lenient, they don't take me seriously or listen. Hope that helps! :)
eternal_malaise 10
All kids start out as rogues.