Today, my five year old daughter asked me what a divorce was. When I asked why she wanted to know, she replied with "Daddy wants one. He says you can have me." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my daughter told me she wanted to divorce me. FML
Today, my 5-year-old daughter said "Mommy, why doesn't anyone wanna marry you?" I've been asking myself the same question for all too many years. FML
Today, I explained to my 5 year old daughter that her older sister from my husband's first marriage lives with her mommy, and my daughter lives with us. She exclaimed, "It's not fair! I want two mommies like she has! Can we swap, I like her mommy better than you anyway!" FML
Today, my four-year-old asked me when I was going to die. I replied "Not for a long time, why?" He looked at me and stated "Because I only want to live with Daddy." FML
Today, my eldest daughter announced she was getting divorced. She never even told me she was married. FML
Today, while in line for my prescription, my daughter was interrogating the man behind us. I'm a single mother. She asked the man, "Do you think my mom is pretty? Want to go on a date with her?" When he told her he was married, she replied, "So? You can get a divorce." FML
Today, I told my son and daughter that their father and I were getting a divorce. They each responded with something like, "Yay! I want to live with Daddy! He buys better presents!" Their father has literally never bought anything for them, one of the many reasons I'm divorcing him. FML
Today, my five year-old daughter came up to me and told me she wanted to be a nun. When I asked why, she replied, "So I won't get my heart broken by a boy." FML
Today, my daughter came over, furiously ranting that her husband had asked for a divorce. During the conversation, I asked what she did to make him happy. She glared at me and yelled, "It's not my job to make my husband happy!" I'm on her husband's side after that. FML
Today, as I was taking my three year-old daughter home from daycare, she asked where her daddy was. I tried to tell her that I was her father, but she answered, "No, not you! My other daddy!" I've got some talking to do tonight. FML
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Top comments
BrittanyPernell6 0
what a screwed up loser he doesn't deserve you or your little girl
Carpy 8
Blurting that out was uncalled for especially in front of his own daughter. OP, best of luck ripping him dry with child support. You & your daughter deserve better. FYL
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Comments (244)
butterflyz1961 2
Wow. Father of the year.
PurtayKittay 10
at least he didn't want keep her and ruin her life. you don't need him!
PurtayKittay 10
at least he didn't want keep her and ruin her life. you don't need him!
neonpanda44 0
**** him that douchebag obviously doesn't deserve u or ur daughter!
pike1346 3
that's fd up. really.
bluebreadsticks_ 6
wow, what a douche bag.
DalekScythe 0
i can totally imagine this as a Cyanide&Happiness comic strip. Take that little girl with you as far as you can away from that HEINOUSLY ANUS (AVGN quote) douche bag of a husband! X(
Shortyy10 0
omg what a dick move, he doesn't deserve you or your daughter!!! :-(
keeks46 12
well honey he's a big dick. he doesn't deserve you or your little girl anyway. you gotta find a real man.
ssllgymnast 0
what a jerk you deserve so much better stay strong