Today, my fiancé had to perform his first prostate exam. He told me he was quite nervous about it, so I reminded him that he did fine on his first pelvic exam last month. His response: "Yeah, but I've had my hands up plenty of vaginas already." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got prostate examination for the first time. Now I can't decide what's worse, the fact that I got a boner when the doctor inserted his finger, or the fact that my wife told the story to pretty much everybody we know. FML
Today, I was telling my mom that I was really nervous about going to the gynecologist for the first time. Her response, "Oh don't worry, it's not like it's the first time you've spread your legs!" FML
Today, I had to get a prostate exam. Right before the doctor started, he told me that if I found it awkward at all, I should just imagine I was being probed by aliens. FML
Today, I went to go see a specialist for my prostate and was told he would have to do an exam before I could leave. Having had this checked just the previous year, I was more than a little irritated. As I was bent over the table the Dr. said, "Now, just pretend I'm Angelina Jolie." FML
Today, it was the first time I ever saw a vagina in person. It was during medical school training on how to do a pelvic exam. FML
Today, after a year of coaxing, I got my boyfriend of 18 months to agree to have sex with me. He decided his first course of action was to try to shove his flaccid penis into my unlubricated vagina. FML
Today, I shaved my vagina for the first time ever. Had sex with my husband and then asked if he liked that. He said, "You've done that before, though". I haven't. We've been married 15 years. FML
Today, I went on a first date. Everything was going well until he asked me, "So, what's the biggest thing you've stuck up your vag?" FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it would be a good idea to help me get over the fear of my upcoming rectal exam by surprising me with one of her own halfway through our lovemaking. FML
Today, I was getting dirty with my boyfriend. It was the first time he had fingered anyone, and the only thing he said was, "It feels like the inside of my asshole." FML
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Top comments
XDsmileyDX_fml 24
Practice makes perfect.
DocBastard 40
I teach my medical students that prostate exams are a lot like weight lifting - there's a lot of grunting and moaning and sweating, and one guy always feels tired at the end.
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Comments (28)
DocBastard 40
I teach my medical students that prostate exams are a lot like weight lifting - there's a lot of grunting and moaning and sweating, and one guy always feels tired at the end.
ManInTheMachine 20
Weight lifting, eh? What kind of weights are you using that make you moan? Shake-weight doesn't count. ;)
etchsanity1 11
God the pic doc is too funny on this FML
HeartOfLead 24
...or like taking a dump, except for the ejecting part.
perdix 31
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Were they perhaps, . . . MONKEY *****?!?!
yeti37 16
Come on, Perdix, lemur alone....
HeartOfLead 24
Zoo can't always refer to previous FMLs, some people won't be able to keep up.
Epeso4 7
*Facepalm*
friedpwnadge 25
Goddamnit, this is why we can't have nice things. Love you baby
LovesSushi 25
Hey, me too! Oh, wait...
perdix 31
#18, makes me wonder what kind of "sushi" you love. I doubt it's literally raw fish ;)
LovesSushi 25
Well, this is awkward, since Sushi is my dogs name...
karlcolt45 19
most men are uncomfortable with the rear end of other men. it's understandable
djgoreo 12
Can't tell if bad doctor or bad boyfriend.
Enslaved 38
Was he nervous that it would hurt or that it. . . "wouldn't" hurt? :P
Enslaved 38
Son of a bitch! I misread it!
Enslaved 38
Sounds high tech when you're told it'll be done "digitally". :P "There's a sign on the wall but she wants to be sure 'Cause you know sometimes words have two meanings."
YepThatsMeee 23
And the forests will echo with laughter.
rattusrattus 19
... HANDS?! *winces* *crosses legs* *curls up* *rolls over* *sobs quietly from sympathetic pain*
j_cat187 20
Hands or a wiffle ball bat.
NoBuenoLeno 9
Are you married to Alex Karev
AnimeBitch 14
Something smells fishy here. ... I couldn't resist.