coffee_princess
Canada
Today, my father made his bellybutton talk. In front of my new boyfriend. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Same thing different taste
smellybelly
This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff
United States
Smell test
Today, my boyfriend of two years kept digging around in his belly button and smelling his fingers. At one point he shoved his fingers in my face and told me to smell his belly button. He's 27 years-old. FML
outie
Genetics
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I have an 'outie' belly button, and he didn't want our potential kids to have one. FML
Anonymous
United States
Mixed signals
Today, I introduced my dad to my boyfriend. I gave my dad the middle finger and he thumped me on the head, as we've been playfully doing for years. My boyfriend got all mad and tried to fight my dad. FML
Anonymous
Hamilton, Canada
Today, my boyfriend met my parents. Within minutes, my dad managed to verbally sever his balls and reduce him to tears, "just for fun" apparently. FML
leahrb
Wilmington, United States
Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time to meet my parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "Son, I want you to suck upon my nipples of knowledge." FML
sadfacemaking
Don't let me be misunderstood
Today, my boyfriend bought me a ring for my birthday. My dad now refuses to talk to me, because he thinks I'm engaged. My boyfriend thinks it's funny, because he'd never marry me. FML
Illinoisgirl
Hungary
Today, my dad got so drunk that he proposed to me. FML
Anonymous
News to me
Today, my dad told me he liked men. While he was making a drunken speech. At my wedding. FML
quit fucking up my life
Kenai, United States
Today, my dad met my boyfriend for the first time. He soon "casually" took a huge knife from the kitchen drawer and told my boyfriend that he's always wondered what it'd be like to stab someone. FML
ihateguys
San Francisco, United States
Today, I heard my boyfriend talking with my father in the backyard. I thought he was asking for my hand in marriage. He was actually telling him about his plans to break up with me. FML
Top comments
DncrHap 9
"well, mr. bellybutton, what do you think of Emma's new boyfriend?" "he gives me a tummy ache." "ohhhh, mr. bellybutton. you crack me up!"
ScaryyMary 14
What was it saying?
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Comments (104)
FrostyBalls 0
Only a bitch would care.
Zanzig 0
what r u 5? quit bitching.
mrmaks18 7
sweet as long as nothing else talks that would be freaky
jklpuzo 2
that's kinda gross...
Carbonite 0
haha funny dad :p thats exacly what I'll do to my daughter when she brings home some kid
erectoralcollage 0
poor baby
madrabbit 3
this is a skill I must learn so that I can use it on my daughter when she starts to bring boys home.
Zero221 0
llOll_llOll
aiden2976 0
did your bf get an erection?
Lisasimpsonfan 0
I make my husband's belly button talk all the time. It cracks me up. Can't wait for our daughter to start dating so I can show her boyfriend