Today, my father decided that since I'm 21 and have never had a girlfriend, he would buy me a book on how to talk to girls. The book was written by a 9 year-old kid. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my nineteen year-old daughter handed me a book on raising children and said, "Maybe you'll do better next time." FML
Today, my dad decided that the best way to alleviate my crippling depression is to talk to me in a baby voice. FML
Today, I told my 10 year-old brother I was turning 23. He said, "You need to get a boyfriend." FML
Today, I overheard my dad telling my mum that the only way I'm ever going to get into a relationship is if I "pose as a woman and con some gullible bastard online." He's probably right. FML
Today, my father decided to "prepare" me for the real world by telling me that I'm ugly. FML
Today, I was telling my dad about how annoying it was to constantly have my ten-year-old cousin message me about her new boyfriend, when he suddenly bursts out laughing about how she can get a boyfriend at ten, and I have never even kissed a guy and I'm seventeen. FML
Today, my dad drunkenly confessed that the reason he never gave me the sex talk was because he figured that I'm too weird-looking and socially awkward to ever get laid. He's right, all too right. FML
Today, since I've been single my whole life, my parents decided to get me to think about what I would want in a relationship. The ensuing conversation made me realize why I am single: not only do I have a major lack of confidence, but I also just don't know how to talk to people, much less people I'm interested in. FML
Today, my father lectured me for dating a man with "no future", even though he's entering a PhD program next year at a top university. Meanwhile, my dad's last relationship was with a 20-year-old hooker who ended up stealing his credit cards. FML
Today, I overheard my 11-year-old son giving my 8-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
SugarCrazy 14
Maybe you can learn something...
saIty 17
Step 1) Share your cookies Step 2) Share your juice Step 3) Watch out for cooties
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (144)
RockerXChic117 0
It could work. You'll never know. Good live though
melissaisawsome 0
And it got published?
peaceloveblunts 2
virgin for life?
mrmerino 0
Is it written by a guy named Godek?
iamcrazy_fml 6
cause kids arent as shy as adults.
artprincess 0
u have NEVER had agirlfriend!?!
someguy314159265 15
Is there something wrong with that?
burro_fml 6
My teacher at school has that in our library..... 12th grade..... there's another one by a twelve year old that's better
tayhannah 0
wow -_- thats just sad.
riyavr 0
:O Justine burner wrote a book? :O
escadoo 3
It's never too late to learn something new..