Today, my estranged father, with whom I haven't spoken in years, called me and demanded to know where his Father's Day gift was. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got a missed call from my dad, who hasn't talked to me in months and has vowed not to have anything to do with me. I called him back excitedly and apologized for missing his call, and we had a 20-second conversation about how his phone accidentally dialed my number. FML
Today, it's Fathers Day. Both of my adult daughters called me… from their stepfather's house. FML
Today, I called my dad, because I haven't spoken to him in a while, and I wanted to invite him to my graduation in May. When he picked up, I said, "Hey, how have you been, dad?" He scoffed, "Wrong number" and hung up the phone. FML
Today, my dad found the Father's Day present that I spent at least ten hours preparing and decorating. I'd expected him to be extremely happy about this lovely gift. His only reaction was to ask if he could exchange it for something else. FML
Today, I called my dad asking him to wish me a happy birthday. Yay. FML
Today, my father contacted me for the first time in close to 2 months. The first thing he did was ask if I wanted to buy some weed. FML
Today, my family keeps pestering me about whether I've contacted my father yet. My father, the one who treated me and my family like crap throughout my upbringing and cheated on my mom a few years ago. I don't know why they think I'd ever want to see him again. FML
Today, I called my dad to inform him I was coming home from college for the weekend. Expecting him to be excited, he responded with "why?" This weekend was my birthday. FML
Today, my father called me for the first time in two weeks since I moved away. Excited, I answered the phone. It was a mistake. He thought he'd called my sister. FML
Today, I was involved in an intense argument with my dad. Just as I yelled, "You haven't done one thing for me", my phone rang. The same phone that, as of today, my dad no longer pays the bill for. FML
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Top comments
omgjustno 7
Say it's in the same place as all your lost birthday and holiday presents from him
FALLENSEBZERO 16
Tell him its up his ass if he wants to be so rude.
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Comments (60)
Strrrrrange 12
Wow horrible man! A fathers day present is something you earn! Everyone (unless they are sterile) can have a child, but it takes something to be a father! I hope that you have some people to talk to about this OP :) Good luck with this one.. He seem difficult
TheyCallMeDamien 18
I hope you cussed him out.
jc10x 8
Tell him its in your pistol, and you'll gladly show it to him
Cazz91 21
Tell him you gave it to another man that is, has and always will be a real father to you. See how he likes that for an answer instead.
LissaMccracken 23
You should just laugh at what a dick he is, and not worry. It is FUNNY that he thinks he deserves anything but a kick between his legs. I hate when people bail on their kids... FYL
Whatapuffchild 23
what an asscrack
pwnman 33
Wow, Op you should be laughing at his stupid behaviour. Buy him a book of bonding with your kids.
FrankHotpants 31
Tell him you left it at all the piano recitals he missed.
mr_jack_meoff 5
Just tell him he isn't your father, he was just a sperm donor.
woiz 11
father with benefit ...