Today, my dog climbed onto the dining room table to eat the cat's food. Then whined until I showed him how to get down. He does this every night. My dog is a genius. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I realized that my dog is an evil genius. As I sat down to have a snack, he barked as if he saw someone outside. I went to check it out, but nobody was there. When I returned, I found my dog on the table finishing off my bacon sandwich. FML
Today, my cat ate the dog's food and is now very sick. For the third time. The first time he did it, I was concerned; second time, I was confused. Now I realize he's just an idiot. FML
Today, I came home to find my dog had learned how to open our fridge. He ate the birthday cake I was saving for a friend's surprise party, and to add insult to injury, he'd also apparently thrown the barely digested cake up all over my bed. FML
Today, I came home to find that my dog had figured out how to open the fridge again. He'd helped himself to raw eggs and crab. FML
Today, my dog found out how to turn my Xbox off. So whenever he wants attention, guess what he does. FML
Today, after struggling to fall asleep due to stress, my cat decided to wake me up by standing on me and meowing until I got up. Just for me to show him that my boyfriend had already put food in his dish. FML
Today, I was eating and my dog kept bothering me. She kept scratching my legs for food, so I took a large piece of fish from my plate and tossed it out into the hallway. It flew right into my mother's face. FML
Today, my dog became scared of his own food bowl. He now barks for ages every time he sees it. FML
Today, my little Pomeranian dog got onto the kitchen bench by jumping onto the washing basket, the bookcase, and over the window sill, and ate my daughter's birthday cake while I was in the bathroom. FML
Today, I found out my dog can open the fridge. Now I have no food left. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
ariverperson 11
the cats food is kept on the dining room table? ew...
Bob_Cat_fml 14
Genius enough to understand that you can be tricked every day the same way …
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (68)
merryhappy1887 20
You're not very smart yourself... Move the cat food duh.
sacredeye73 11
Ewwwww.... You feed your cat on your dining room table?
allsmilesnow88 5
Well find somewhere else to put the cat food dummy!
writergirl23 19
And you have the cat food on the table.
daytoday21 10
Sounds like you're the genius- maybe learn from experience?
spottyblanket 8
There are a lot of diseases you can get from animals OP, don't feed your cat on the table--that is disgusting! I wouldn't eat at your place. An animal gets fed on the floor, away from your food. YDI.
Raesin 21
Yea, imagine eating next to another human! You could get flu, ringworm, typhoid fever, leprosy, smallpox or any number of diseases they carry. How disgusting! In other words, it's no more disgusting than sitting next to your mother while you eat at thanksgiving. or sitting next to someone on a bus/train etc.
183933 6
I find soooo many things wrong with your post. Letting your cat and dog eat off of the same table that your family and friends do... And apparently all you're concerned with is how stupid your dog is... WTF is wrong with you?
Twisted_Angel 17
Why do you feed your cat on the dining room table? do you know how dirty that is? cat's carry feces particles in their feet, and you let it eat on the table. that's disgusting. my animals know they aren't even allowed in the kitchen, or the dining room. it amazes me how gross people are when it comes to animals and the places they eat. smh, enjoy your sickness.
mrnikc 11
Did he tell you to Google what's up with the new iPhone?
crazybunnyattack 11
OMG, I laughed so loud after reading that. Woke up my cat lol. Funny man you are...
krisanda 5
You do know that both cats and dogs walk around in their own crap and urine right? Why are you feeding either on your table? That's nasty.