Today, my daughter asked for a dollar to buy ice cream from the ice cream truck while I was on my computer working. Out of my wallet she took a fifty dollar bill. The ice cream man got a big tip before driving off. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I went over to get some ice cream. I found a rare parking spot in front of the store, and even had change in my pocket. After feeding the meter, A lady comes up to me and tells me that the meter was free after 8 o'clock. I paid 50 cents for it. I was 50 cents short for my ice cream. FML
Today, I gave my niece a $100 bill instead of a $10 so she could buy ice cream. When I realized my mistake, she never returned it but thanked me and gave me a big hug. Now I don't have money for gas or food all week. FML
Today, I was at work, when this guy came in and paid for his ice cream, then handed me a dollar. I've never gotten a tip before, so I looked at him and said, "Thank you so much, I appreciate it." He stared at me with a weird look for a moment, and then said, "Can I just get that in quarters?" FML
Today, I went to buy some frozen yogurt. I filled up a cup and the cashier rung it up. The total price was $6.92. I only had $5 in my wallet. So I gave her the $5 bill and went to my car to get more money. Little did I know, there was no money in my car. So I drove off. Leaving the $5 behind. FML
Today, I waved money at a passing ice cream truck and it kept going. So apparently I can't even get a date with a Sno Cone. FML
Today, I was at the mall, I saw a girl crying that her ice cream had fallen on the floor. Feeling generous, I bought her a new one. She threw it on the ground, laughed, and came over to her mom and told that I was bothering her, so the mom called security. FML
Today, I had to go down to the county police department to bail out my kids who thought it would be a good idea to try mugging an ice cream truck driver. FML
Today, I had to watch my neighbor's daughter for 10 hours. She wouldn't eat anything I had to offer, so I ordered a pizza for $19 + a $5 tip = $24. Her father came by to pick her up, thanked me, and gave me a $20 bill. I effectively just paid to watch his kid. FML
Today, I got a $20 tip from an old lady I delivered pizza to. Ecstatic, I walked back to my car where there was a $30 parking fine waiting for me. FML
Today, a lady handed me a $10 tip on a $45 bill. I was happy with it, since it was more than 20%, until she came back in and said, "I'm sorry I gave you the wrong amount." I handed it back to her and then she gave me a dollar. FML
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Top comments
ReginaFalange_fml 13
If she was young enough to think using a fifty is ok, sounds like she wasn't old enough to be going out to the truck alone, so.... yup this ones on you OP.
TaylorTotsYumm 10
CHASE AFTER HIM AND GET YOUR MONEY! Or 49 more Popsicles.. your choice.
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Comments (139)
glambert1998 0
ur call
bigredmonkeybutt 30
Maybe you should teach your kid not to just take stuff from your wallet? YDI.
guiltypleasure12 0
I know this is completely off topic but has anyone ever had their FML be posted? and if so why don't they ever mention it in the comments?
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
I have, but only the ones embarrassing enough to warrant anonymity. You can submit stories anonymously, but you comment without being logged in. I didn't comment because I hang out here a lot and I didn't want to be known for my screw-ups. Some OPs do come back to answer questions, though. You can find some examples on the FML blog.
FYLDeep 26
It's weird seeing you talk about anonymity when your name is Jane Doe.
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
Heh, good point. Guess I'm paranoid.
guiltypleasure12 0
#57, thank you! you are always one of the most helpful resources/commenters on FML
porter12 0
lmao at 2 and 12
kayleigh_fail 0
I bet that money goes towards his drug habbit- tsk tsk.
JustinBiebs_fml 0
that ice cream man should of gave the change back. im just sayyinn.
_mystique_ 0
YDI for not getting off your stupid computer for a mere 20 seconds to give your daughter a buck. your ignorance cost you $49.00. Well deserved!
pinkzilla0 8
well said 20, well said.
aquari 0
totally agree!
Hoplaka 0
Hmm... I choose the Popsicles!! Yumm! :3
ninjala 10
Omgosh, i cant believe your blaming the child. GET THE F*** OFF YOUR D*** COMPUTER AND PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR CHILD!!!!
ZoroFresh 0
if you're gonna use asterisks to censor, why use profanity in the first place? just askin'
ninjala 10
thats just how i roll.
Tasanasanta 0
Lucky ass icecream man