By stillaproudfather - 22/05/2014 19:24 - United States

Today, my daughter admitted why her grades, which are usually straight A's, have been slipping the past few weeks. Turns out she has been deliberately failing tests to avoid becoming valedictorian, so she won't have to deliver a speech at graduation. FML
I agree, your life sucks 54 916
You deserved it 6 703

Same thing different taste

Top comments

cjwayy 22

Sounds like she has social anxiety or something of the sort. Ask her why she's afraid of giving a speech maybe?

hahaha that's a hard worker you've got there


hahaha that's a hard worker you've got there

Or maybe a shy girl who is scared of public speaking...

michaelaranda 28

honestly, I cant blame ops father. public speaking can be quite difficult.

well to be honest I wouldn't really want to write a speech or preform it either. I hate public speaking

I'd say #14 is more correct, or perhaps just extremely lazy and couldn't think of jack shit to say as valedictorian. "Yea, uh, well..."

I think its mandatory, but then again, I've never been valedictorian.

It's not like it's illegal to decline. What are they gonna do? Call the police and tell you you'll never go to the best university because you'll be in jail?

Well, #26, OP's daughter can't be THAT lazy seeing as she had a chance to become a valedictorian.. OP: Honestly, I don't blame your daughter. I'm extremely shy, sounds like something I'd do. FYL, tho. =/

Kind of impressive, really. She has to actually try to fail.

bethers_ 22

At my school, the entire graduating class voted on three speakers from the top 10. My friend was valedictorian and didn't have to speak at all, so it's not always mandatory!

wow, I would be.. more than honored if I got valedictorian. I hate giving speeches but it would be worth it for me.

incoherentrmblr 21

Don't most colleges make you take a public speaking course?...

#1 fear in the US - death #2 fear in the US - speaking in front of a large audience

I've never heard of anybody having to take a public speaking course outside of movies or TV

cjwayy 22

Sounds like she has social anxiety or something of the sort. Ask her why she's afraid of giving a speech maybe?

Ok, you know that "oh sh*t" feeling you get when you are giving a presentationin in front of the class? which is like 30 kids tops and you probably know all of them? Ok, now imagine having to get up to give a speech, in a huge auditorium/arena/stadium, filled with a thousand strangers who are all looking at you. If she was my daughter i would back her up on her decision

It's called stage fright. Personally, just the thought of having to give a speech to a group of people that large terrifies me. I'd probably do the same thing as OPs daughter if my grades were that high to begin with.

Yeah, i feel worse for the girl than OP. To give up something so great because your scared.

#47 ultimately it's her decision if she wants to give the speech or not. But If I was op, I'd encourage her to face her fears rather than letting it defeat her by dropping her marks and not getting the title she probably deserves. Even if she completely ***** it up, is it really gonna matter in a couple years? People would worry of what others think of them of them a lot less if they knew how seldom they did. I'm sure op's daughter will be fine.

It's a shame that so many are naturally so afraid to speak in public. it's a very satisfying and rewarding experience once you get over stage fright.

I still can't see this as a FML, nor as a YDI. Best wishes with your situation, OP

AurumPotestasEst 16

Glossophobia and social anxiety are not interconnected... I have social anxiety issues but I love acting and wou.

You have to sign up to be valedictorian though.

StillUsesMyspace 22

While I understand stage fright, giving large presentations is a part of many jobs. Being able to articulately speak in public is important and I'd push my son/daughter to speak in public as much as possible. The more you do it the better you get, so I'd force my child to do it for their own good. Plus it teaches a good life lesson: To get the good stuff in life you might have to do a few things you don't enjoy as much. 110, keep telling yourself that. I bet you think you didn't get valedictorian because you didn't sign up.

#68, I'm just speaking from experience, I mean, i would be very proud of ny child if they were at the top of the class, but I've had some VERY bad experiences from having to give speeches to large groups, and yea the worse you can do is **** up and people will forget about it by like the next hour, but for example, I remember when i was chosen to give a speech to my whole school a couple years back, and i COMPLETELY ****** it up, i got stage fright and started laughing nonstop and everyone else started laughing too and i had to walk back down. And yea, i mean, it was fine, but you know, sometimes when im in the shower contemplating the mysteries of the universe (like I really REALLY we all do or else i just sound like a creep-o) i remember it and i shudder a little. Plus like thats what happens if its bad, if its agood experience you move on to bigger and greater things, but what i thought is maybe go from small to large groups gradually, because you can't learn to run before you can walk, or even crawl. Or else it can be traumatic :/

equitationbound 22

47- shit, where do you live when classes are 30 kids tops?! My classes have up to 42 kids. PE classes even had up to 50.

Hire a tutor to help her with public speaking. Whether or not she becomes valedictorian, this will help her in her future.

I have severe Social Phobia, I could never give a speech in front of a crowd more than 2 people; it's this same reason my cumulate was stripped from me. At our school, we have this project called the I-search, this project dictates whether one is to graduate or have to repeat the class. I wasn't able to give a speech and because there was no alternative for those with severe anxiety disorders, I had to receive my first ever "D" in a was the worst thing I've ever had to go through. Grades mean so much to me, it's an irrational obsession of mine that I'm seeking help for. Shame that my location offers no help for those like myself. I understand where the OP's child is coming from...It was my dream to obtain such an honor...

So we have a deliberately stupid genius here?

#76 your comment deserves more thumbs up

Dude you can't call someones kid dumb. Not cool

the world today. you get thumbs down for disagreeing with the guy who has thumbs down.

Why are people thumbing down that comment? OP said the girl usually has "straight A's" and her grades were slipping, and "failing tests deliberately" to avoid a graduation speech. #3 said that she was a genius (hence the straight A's) who was failing tests on purpose (so she wouldn't give a speech). I thought it was a clever oxymoron.

Well honestly at this point she's probably already gotten into the college she wants, titles like that don't matter much in the long run

SemiAuto 21

That doesn't mean you deliberately fail tests.

I don't know about anywhere other than where I live (Ontario, Canada), but here any offer to a college or university is conditional... So you get accepted, but still have to finish high school with a certain average in order to keep your acceptance. So her grades may still matter.

If you're getting straight A's and are in the running for valedictorian, you can very likely drop a few bombs into your schoolwork and still come out with strong enough average to get into the school of your choice.

As a Brit I don't understand this, is Valodictorian something that cannot be refused?

It's when you are at the top of your class. And at high school graduation you give a speech. And she might have a fear of public speaking.

she may have already been accepted into many colleges, but in most places being valedictorian is guaranteed a major scholarship (or multiple scholarships) ..that's how it is at all the schools around here at least

That level of laziness is too damn high

I'm not sure it's lazy as much as it is fear and trust me some people will do anything to avoid what they're afraid of. There's this thing in gum where we climb 50 feet in the air and the. Walk across a pole. And it is sage and supervised but I have and will continue to do anything to get out of it.

Yeah, sounds like #63 was in a sticky situation.

Yeah I'm sorry. My phone changed certain words and gym happens to be one of them.

That's pretty sad actually... I'm sure she could have turned it down if she was asked. Sounds like she has some form of social anxiety.. Or she just really hates giving speeches. Glad to see from your username you are still a proud father though!

Shouldn't she have the right to say no thanks, while keeping her grades good?

I agree if she doesn't want to give a speech they can't really force her to give one.

It isn't mandatory, but it's tradition. The embarrassment of being recognized as valedictorian but refusing the speech - in the OP's daughter's eyes - could be just as bad as the anxiety that writing and giving a speech would be. That being said, the valediction (the farewell speech) is a difficult speech to write. You're speaking on behalf of the entire graduating class, and you have to make it a compelling speech - grab the attention of the entire audience (students, staff, proud parents and friends) I don't blame OP's daughter for not wanting the pressure.

Thank you that makes sense and I never really thought of it like that.

Fear of public speaking is a terrible thing. Can't say I blame her. Be proud that she has to put in effort not to pass a test

I mean, if she has to TRY to actually fail, then that means she can pass with ease, right? So I guess OP should kinda be proud?

Maybe you should have a talk with her, she might be feeling pressure because she's an intelligent person and knows a lot is expected of her

She should not sacrifice grades for that. Can she not just tell them the speech will not happen? Surely they can not force it upon her.