Today, my dad walked into my room, threw some magazines on my bed, and calmly said, "You left your porn in the bathroom again." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I came home to find my dad in my room, watching porn on my computer. When I asked him what he was doing, he closed the computer, stood up, stared at me awkwardly and then said, "You should really avoid those sites" and left my room. FML
Today, I was browsing porn in my room, when my dad barged in. I quickly switched to another tab, only to see it was parked on another porn page. I had another browser window open, so I switched to that. More porn. My dad said, "Riiiggghhhttt... You need help, son." FML
Today, while helping my dad look for his watch, I found his porn collection. FML
Today, I found out my mom has been randomly searching my room. I've asked her repeatedly to stop, but she says it's her right as a parent. In retaliation I started searching their room when they were out, and found porn mags and DVDs. I confronted mom about it. Long story short, dad's in a hotel. What have I done?! FML
Today, my dad unlocked the bathroom door and barged in without warning only to catch me, with no clothes on, masturbating. He said, "sorry" but stayed for another 20 seconds to look for his shampoo. FML
Today, I was woken up by the sound of my dad blasting porn on his computer. FML
Today, I started watching porn in my room with the volume muted. A minute later, my dad knocked on the door, so I closed everything and called him in. He just said, "Son, you disgust me." and walked out. Now I'm too paranoid to use my own computer. FML
Today, my mom kicked my dad out of the house and told him not to come home again. Why? I started watching some porn on my computer, forgetting I was still connected to the bluetooth speakers in the living room. My mom thought it was my dad, and I didn't have the balls to admit the truth. FML
Today, my dad uploaded his porn collection onto our family server. My mom was convinced I did it and sat me down for a long talk. FML
Today, my drunk dad went off on a tangent about his porn watching habits to the whole family. FML
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Top comments
MikeDa1Da 14
Well at least he didn't see you actually jacking off?
omfg_creepers 8
"If this happens again I'm keeping them! Oh and I accidentally ruined one of them, don't ask how."
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Comments (164)
chay_chay 5
I wish I had a dad like that :)
KiddNYC1O 22
And your lotion. And Kleenex.
Enslaved 38
Okay, I have to ask. Do guys really use Kleenex? And how many? It seems a tad bit messy to clean up with a few sheets of tissues vs a face towel or two.
KiddNYC1O 22
I use a wet bounty.
CaptainPickles72 18
Wow, seriously? Screw that! I cut out the middle man and just shoot it in the toilet (too much info?), no clean up there!
rhysfucker 24
2 paper towels, thank you.
Deeznutzhairy 7
It depends where I am lol
flockz 20
i use my lucky shamwow. you can wring it out after every splooge.
ahgah 0
What? I just fold a piece of paper into a tray and then cum on that. No mess at all. Just scrounge it up and throw away lol
Enslaved 38
Magazine"S"? One wouldn't do it for you, uh? Lol Sticky pages between Ms. December's centerfolds.
chels1994 11
Well at least he didn't yell
beebananaz88 0
He said it calmly because hes been there before. Father-son event? (;
hellokatie8 5
Magazines? Oh come on! With every free **** site online and the MOBILE sites for phones ? XD no paper trail ! and if you prefer magazines , don't forget them in the bathroom , if he's busted you "again" you've done it often most likely.
trippythehippy 6
No paper trail huh. Hmm
murdersquirrel 15
It's true.
thebaconweave 0
unless you're on **** hub then it says how many videos you have left..-_- gets me every time
hellokatie8 5
That's why you don't use a crappy site like that . Xnxx. That site isn't a preview , it's a whole video. Any other site pretty much sucks.
scr_sensei 14
xhamster.com
brick_man33 14
guess your dad doesn't fancy your **** selection that he had to give it back.
LennyComa 39
Maybe op's dad was caught with the **** by op's mum and the dads passing the buck as it were...again
Mea022796 2
If he's not upset what's the problem?
trippythehippy 6
Maybe they weren't hetero **** mags??
DocBastard 40
OP: But I read them for the articles, Dad! Dad: "Barely Legal Bitches" has articles?
GhostlyGhoulish 1
OP: Dad, there were three magazines in here... Op's dad:....Were there?