Today, my dad walked into my room, threw some magazines on my bed, and calmly said, "You left your porn in the bathroom again." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I came home to find my dad in my room, watching porn on my computer. When I asked him what he was doing, he closed the computer, stood up, stared at me awkwardly and then said, "You should really avoid those sites" and left my room. FML
Today, I was browsing porn in my room, when my dad barged in. I quickly switched to another tab, only to see it was parked on another porn page. I had another browser window open, so I switched to that. More porn. My dad said, "Riiiggghhhttt... You need help, son." FML
Today, while helping my dad look for his watch, I found his porn collection. FML
Today, I found out my mom has been randomly searching my room. I've asked her repeatedly to stop, but she says it's her right as a parent. In retaliation I started searching their room when they were out, and found porn mags and DVDs. I confronted mom about it. Long story short, dad's in a hotel. What have I done?! FML
Today, my dad unlocked the bathroom door and barged in without warning only to catch me, with no clothes on, masturbating. He said, "sorry" but stayed for another 20 seconds to look for his shampoo. FML
Today, I was woken up by the sound of my dad blasting porn on his computer. FML
Today, I started watching porn in my room with the volume muted. A minute later, my dad knocked on the door, so I closed everything and called him in. He just said, "Son, you disgust me." and walked out. Now I'm too paranoid to use my own computer. FML
Today, my mom kicked my dad out of the house and told him not to come home again. Why? I started watching some porn on my computer, forgetting I was still connected to the bluetooth speakers in the living room. My mom thought it was my dad, and I didn't have the balls to admit the truth. FML
Today, my dad uploaded his porn collection onto our family server. My mom was convinced I did it and sat me down for a long talk. FML
Today, my drunk dad went off on a tangent about his porn watching habits to the whole family. FML
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Top comments
MikeDa1Da 14
Well at least he didn't see you actually jacking off?
omfg_creepers 8
"If this happens again I'm keeping them! Oh and I accidentally ruined one of them, don't ask how."
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Comments (164)
dillies 3
Well at least he didn't find gay ****, or maybe he did? I wish my dad would of acted like that when he found my ****... Man did he Go insane.
hurrican_fml 0
Words of wisdom: don't leave your **** in the bathroom
Ash0 6
Be thankful he didn't overreact..or even worse..keep them for himself :P
kimmi41509 10
You should tell him "Hey dad I found your nose. It was in my business again!"
rhysfucker 24
Kimmi, I respectfully disagree. If one leaves their jerky books in the shitter, it's on them...it's not Pop's fault for finding the mags when he went in to take a leak / dump / etc.
kimmi41509 10
I know I know, I was just being a sarcastic ass :)
rhysfucker 24
Sorry, I missed the sarcasm. It must be the metal plate in my head. What was I saying??
PoshPosh_123 3
Funny thing is, is that your dad probably beat off to them first, lol
Dflips 0
At least he didn't flip
bearmichaela 0
Wow that's old school, use the Internet.
mydadpulledout 17
he's a guy too, no biggie. not an fml imo
TheGothGamerGirl 20
"Again" obviously this has not been the first time
sharktat2 10
You know why HE was nice and calm...